Where did my boy go? Oh there he is.
Over the last few weeks we have had huge gains in maturity with Boo.
Glimpses of a 9 year old boy, rather than the oversized toddler we are used to.
Obsessed with Grease Lightning. They are singing a censored version for the school musical.
He is wandering around the house singing ‘You know that ain’t no shit, we are getting lots of tit’
‘Stop Boo, you know you are not allowed to say those words’
‘Well can I say pussy then?’ ‘What’s creaming Mum?’
And I fall over.
‘What will the chicks do Mum? I think they will cream’
Concussion from all the falling over in dead faints.
Writing ’shit’ on his school work when he gets it wrong.
Drawing pictures of his swimming teacher trying to kiss him (she hasn’t, looooong story) and then DENYING that he drew it.
Theory of mind people. He haz it.
Arguing. Rolling of eyes. Sniggering at the scantily dressed beach volley ball chicks.
Dude is becoming a dude. Real quick like. In a couple of weeks, instead of the years you lot get. He went from loving toddler to obnoxious boy in a matter of days.
Doing my fucking head in.
We still have the moments. But nearly every single day a new gain. A new development. A ‘nine year old boy’ moment. ‘Mummy’ is replaced with ‘Mum’. Kisses are ‘eww’. No more laying in bed cuddling, now a note on his door telling us to piss off.
Dear Family
Don’t open the door when I am alone in the rooms.
- Boo
It is like I have lost the boy I know. All of a sudden a kid, an obnoxious, typical, sniggering-at-the-dirty boy has entered my life.
But today I was brought back to earth.
Got to school. Walked into the classroom. Boo and his aide covered in blood.
Covered.
In.
Blood.
He pulled out another tooth.
A not-ready-to-be-liberated-from-his-body, tooth.
And that fucker bled like a… well a fucking lot. Boo oblivious. His aide and teacher dry retching. Cause they haven’t dealt with this before.
Me, on the other hand, oh yes. Lots of times.
The call to come and get him cause he has snapped off teeth and thrown them on the floor. Taking knives and pens off him cause he is using them as leverage. Bloody handprints on the walls. Bedding caked with blood.
Yes. I have been here before. (I have blogged about it, somewhere here…)
When I tried to talk to him about it, the blank look. The scripting talk. Nestled into me. Burying his face into my chest.
What you know becomes comfortable. I want the gains. I want him to grow and become more like his peers.
I have literally begged for these gains.
But Boo, slow the fuck down OK? Cause I don’t want start wishing for you to start pulling out more teeth so I can feel normal.
One day you are gunna run out of teeth.
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47 Responses to “Where did my boy go? Oh there he is.”
August 14th, 2008 at 12:03 pm
Oh, Kelley - you are on one wild rollercoaster ride there.
Sorry about the teeth and the blood.
August 14th, 2008 at 12:05 pm
Ah, as much as I love dirty, crazy, shoe-obsessed Kelly, I have to admit this is my favorite of all the Kellies: Sincere, long-suffering, LOVING mummy Kelly.
Great post. You’re amazing.
August 14th, 2008 at 12:06 pm
I’m in awe Kelley, seriously. I admire how you handle the ups and downs and always maintain not only a huge sense of dignity, but a fucking awesome sense of humour!
August 14th, 2008 at 12:08 pm
You never feel normal. However every single thing you said here is normal.IT is how I feel with two that went from 4 and 6 to 14 and 16 in the blink of an eye.
It only goes faster.. not slower. So here’s what I do. I can’t slow the life down but I can slow the moment down. I can look at that sign.. fix in my mind how he sings about the chicks.
But bittersweet as it may be Greased Lightening Goes.
xoxo friend
August 14th, 2008 at 12:08 pm
Awww, Kelley. I love that kid. And you, too.
August 14th, 2008 at 12:31 pm
Have you caught Boo leering at the scantily clad swimmers during the Olympics? Maybe he’s trying to collect enough money from the tooth fairy to go to China and meet them in person.
August 14th, 2008 at 1:25 pm
Oh geeze….
that last sentence? I remember thinking that when you blogged about it before. I really feel for you (and that includes the teacher and the aide).
Hang in there…
August 14th, 2008 at 1:41 pm
I would probably be dry heaving and crying if I were the teacher/aide … I don’t know that I could deal with that.
You are a saint, a saint in gorgeous shoes! <3 you
August 14th, 2008 at 1:46 pm
Kelley, I can only imagine what your life with Boo is like, and I dare not think how I would handle it. You are a champion. And your love shines through.
August 14th, 2008 at 1:55 pm
I best get a stack hat if my 9yr old is gonna start talking about girls creaming *faint*
The note is so damned cute..but how many rooms is he having alone time in..and WTF is he up to in there?
August 14th, 2008 at 2:02 pm
Asking what boys are up to when locked up in their rooms.. That way lies madness, and very dirty socks..
August 14th, 2008 at 2:07 pm
Gonna have to just give you a hug *hug* and tell you that you are handling this in a way that only you know how. You are amazing.
August 14th, 2008 at 2:23 pm
you seriously are my hero.
August 14th, 2008 at 3:45 pm
Have you noticed that he’s ripping his pearly whites around the times he’s having gains - maybe he’s trying to connect, to feel what his peers feel.
August 14th, 2008 at 5:48 pm
It’s pretty rare that a mom writes a ‘my kid is growing up and aw’ post and I like it. But you actually made me read the whole thing because it was pretty much perfect. In your awesome way.
August 14th, 2008 at 6:03 pm
We wait and wait and wait for our babies to grow up and when they do we want our babies back again. Until they become our adult friends.
I’m also concerned about when Boo runs out of teeth. And what about his already missing teeth? How does he manage food? Do you have huge dental bills from constantly repairing or replacing teeth? Is he at all willing to go to the dentist?
August 14th, 2008 at 6:45 pm
our little boys are always hiding in the big ones they outwardly appear…… somewhere.
August 14th, 2008 at 7:04 pm
Well done Boo for taking some big steps! The pulling teeth out thing? … not so much! >_<
It’s so hard seeing them growing up and wanting a little more independence from us isn’t it?
(((hugs)))
August 14th, 2008 at 9:58 pm
You poor thing- at least you’re more level headed than a lot of autism parents! Boo sounds like a couple of autistic kids I knew from the ages of about 7 to 15. They seemed to be extremely bizarre and difficult to manage, didn’t learn much at school, couldn’t sit still in class and roamed around their homes day and night talking and yelling. Then by the time they were 10 to 12 they became much quieter- the opposite of “normal” kids; they said lots of naughty words in strange contexts, like yelling out “Fuck you” in the middle of the supermarket, yet could sit quite happily with me in the car while I drove them to brain function test appointments. It’s great they he can communicate in writing- that’s often a real hurdle. Anyway- interesting- I hope you survive his changing ways!
August 14th, 2008 at 10:07 pm
Has he pulled out any adult teeth or are they all baby ones?
August 14th, 2008 at 10:46 pm
Wow Kelley, I’m not sure what to say. It’s so very hard to watch kids grow up, especially when it’s the times they get all bratty instead of more capable, but to be brought back to pre-brattiness by something like that tooth thing. Oy. Maybe the growing up quickly is hard on him too.
August 14th, 2008 at 10:55 pm
Wow. That pulling out of teeth is a bugger. Ouch! But, on the other hand - the gains - Oh, the gains. You know, there was a time when some forms of Autism were grouped into something called “Late Developing Brain Syndrome”. Because the kids with the ASD would be seen to progress through stages toward ‘normalcy’ - whatever that is. The key word, I suppose, is ‘toward’. And at time, the changes would be sudden. Very sudden.
August 14th, 2008 at 11:00 pm
Oi! The tooth pulling thing made my butt hole pucker! Ick. Sorry love, I got in a wicked car accident and had a few teeth knocked out(and put back) so teeth really freak me out now.
Hope that whole thing works itself out before he hasnt got any left to pull.
And yippie, for the moving forward in other areas! Its bitter sweet.
August 14th, 2008 at 11:19 pm
Here’s to slowing down! And I think my 16-month old that can open child proof medicine bottles is wild! Hilarious that the teacher and aide were dry retching. Seriously folks, you’re going to see more than that! LOL.
August 15th, 2008 at 12:28 am
oh poor boo. and you.
you are a champion, my friend.
i bow down before you.
August 15th, 2008 at 12:28 am
and fantastic on the growing he’s doing!
August 15th, 2008 at 12:38 am
Wow - you are such an awesome mom. My kids grew up overnight like that, too. Son with a locked door and daughter with an attitude.
But you deal with so much more than I ever did and your still sane.
Well, kinda…..
HUGS!
August 15th, 2008 at 1:11 am
Damn. I am bawling. Tears streaming, euyes welted, snotty nose. What the fuck? The tone of your post wasn’t depressing, but it REALLY hit a nerve that I didn’t even know I had. THanks a lot! Bubba is 8.5 and I don’t know how to live WITHOUT dysfunction. What am I going to do when he turns all teenage boy like? WHAAAAAAA.
August 15th, 2008 at 1:20 am
I know they grow up fast but…..
Just remember progress is positive!! Honest!!
August 15th, 2008 at 1:31 am
Girl, you are definitely a FANTASTIC Mum. You handle it all with such greatness. And your Boo? He’ll be fine because of it!
August 15th, 2008 at 2:41 am
Oh, my God. He asked you about girls creaming? Holy hell. The teeth thing? That’s so terrifying. I’m sorry, hon. I don’t know how you do it. You are a brave one.
August 15th, 2008 at 3:02 am
Go out and pick out a lovely pair of shoes today! Do it!
August 15th, 2008 at 3:28 am
I don’t know how you do it. I am in complete awe of you. You are Wonder Woman.
August 15th, 2008 at 3:47 am
Good luck with slowing down. Mine’s only five now but he keeps accelerating more every year. At least I can prep myself a bit with your blog.
August 15th, 2008 at 4:23 am
Doesn’t he KNOW there are adults in Europe with teeth just falling out of their head?
I jest, honest.
This is a tornado post. I love it and hate it and fear it all at the same time.
August 15th, 2008 at 4:32 am
I suppose asking about creaming is better than drag racing right now. So sorry about the teeth. I know everyone above has already said it, but you are amazing. And so is your sweet Boo.
August 15th, 2008 at 7:49 am
Ripping teeth takes Boo back to a place of comfort. What neurotypicals call ‘normal’ is a farkin’ scary place for Boo.
August 15th, 2008 at 9:59 am
Has he stood in front of the mirror and figured out that he can control the ‘old boy’? I caught my son around Boo’s age doing that…standing there saying “up”, “down”, “up”, ‘Down”, etc…he’s 24 now and I think he stills tells it, “up”, “down”…:P Teeth can be replaced..OY!
August 15th, 2008 at 11:41 am
Stories like that make me REALLY, REALLY, REALLY glad I have a girl. Who hopefully will never rip a tooth out of her mouth. *knocks on wood*
August 15th, 2008 at 10:36 pm
I always knew the tooth fairy wore kick ass shoes! And she’d HAVE to be ninja like to get in & out with the stealth to not wake a kid!
August 16th, 2008 at 12:11 am
Wow. I’m impressed. Pulling out your own healthy tooth must hurt. The tooth fairy needs to step it up, this time.
August 16th, 2008 at 3:20 am
Ooooooh, Kel. {{hugs}} What a range of emotions to have to deal with.
Love you sweetie.
August 16th, 2008 at 9:53 am
I’m so dreading my kids growing up! Why can’t they stay as babies? My young’fla grinds his teeth… he had a baby tooth ground down so low, it eventually dissapeared and nobody knows where it went! I was searching through his crappy nappies for days afterwards, so bummed we lost his first tooth. Will I have to screwdriver out the next ones?!?! The thought scares the bejeebus out of me.
August 17th, 2008 at 7:25 am
OMFG. WOW.
LOVE the door sign. Too cute.
What a dude!
August 19th, 2008 at 9:01 pm
Oh Darlin..
August 21st, 2008 at 3:40 am
Oh my. I’m sorry, but not really, because even though it’s different, it’s all very similar.
And I have to say I love covered in blood stories. I have a few of my own.
October 2nd, 2008 at 11:04 pm
Bwwwaaaaha. The teeth! So familiar, from so many seminars and from all the kids I know. That and the adolescent version — as Tony Attwood puts it: “Yes, they will *all* pull out the new pubic hairs..”
You have my greatest empathy; I hope he doesn’t wiggle the adult ones too hard (how neurotypical is his pain threshold?).
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