*insert hysterical laughing here*
Bwaaaaa haaaaaa haaaaaaaaaa!
*rocking in the corner*
Bwaaaaaaa haaaaaa haaaaaaaaaaa!
*rock rock rock*
Some days you get a sign. A sign that you should never have got the fuck outta bed.
My sign this morning was waking at 6am freaking out that we were late. When we weren’t.
That Boo seemed a little stuffed up.
That I couldn’t find the skirt that I SWORE I laid out the night before.
That my coffee was cold when I finally got to it.
The universe was trying to tell me to climb back into bed.
It is now 2pm. I am home from work with a vomiting child. At the moment I found out about said vomiting child I had a group of people surrounding my desk arguing about who is the biggest fuck wit. I was rocking slightly in my chair thinking about running over to the coffee shop and asking them to put a little something in my double shot skinny latte in a milkshake cup. People standing on the fringes wondering who was going to be the first to feel my wrath. I think someone was taking bets.
Me smiling sweetly about to knock some heads.
Then my phone rang. Boo is unwell. Boo is vomiting. Boo wants to come home.
My smile widened and I started laughing. Scaring the living fuck out of the fringe dwellers and stopping the arguers in their tracks. I hung up the phone and put my head in my hands. I office was silent. Looks were exchanged.
I couldn’t stop giggling.
I packed up my bag, turned off my computer and left the carnage behind me. Fuckers can deal with it themselves.
I need to have my own private breakdown.
Won’t you join me? Fuck it’s funny.
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38 Responses to “*insert hysterical laughing here*”
October 14th, 2008 at 2:01 pm
And Boo saves the day by vomiting his guts out! Yay, Boo. OH, I’m sorry. I guess I should have known that was the very last straw. At least you didn’t have to be there to hear the end of the arguments of the fucking twits.
October 14th, 2008 at 2:02 pm
Yeah. I’ll join you.
You should always trust those signs and just stay in bed, especially when you can’t find your skirt.
October 14th, 2008 at 2:03 pm
Shit.
Second! One minute too late.
October 14th, 2008 at 2:20 pm
Nooooooo not the vomiting bug.
Poor Boo / Poor you.
But hey, maybe you’re a carrier and managed to sprinkle a few virus spores amongst the assembled arguers at work this morning….
October 14th, 2008 at 2:24 pm
I’ll join you. I had a breakdown on Friday night on my way home from church. Then I broke again on Saturday night. Yesterday I stayed up until 1am today breaking down. I’m ready for tonight’s. <3
You can do this … life is short buy wide … this too will pass. <3
October 14th, 2008 at 2:24 pm
awww hugs to you hun
and clean areas for boo to be sick in….
thinking of you, and making you loads of coffees
mwah
xx
October 14th, 2008 at 2:40 pm
go, boo!
and go, kelley! take no prisoners!
October 14th, 2008 at 2:57 pm
Hum along to “The lunatics have taken over the asylum” by Fun Boy 3, it’ll make allllll the vomit make perfect sense at 2.17am when you’re cleaning up after Moo and Too as well
*Having mozzed you with that, I shall now probably pay for it myself
October 14th, 2008 at 3:00 pm
You can share my corner babe, I’m sure you would bring light to anyone’s dark place… did that sound too mushy?
Yeah, that sounded too mushy.
Hope Boo feels better soon.
October 14th, 2008 at 3:23 pm
*puts down the chocolate and backs slowly out of the room*
October 14th, 2008 at 3:53 pm
When vomit sends me over the edge, it’s usually my own. Poor Boo. He didn’t happen to vomit on the skirt you couldn’t find, did he?
October 14th, 2008 at 4:24 pm
*hugs*
Cold coffee? No wonder you lost the plot. Although I’m a little disappointed that you didn’t throw “You ALL win the fuckwit award!” back as you left…
MWAH. Be kind to yourself, eh?
October 14th, 2008 at 4:33 pm
Coffee and chocolate to Kelley stat!
(and send some to me because I have 24 hours to finish my father in laws family history book and I’m only up to page 13 of 50).
October 14th, 2008 at 5:12 pm
Aww hunny *hugs* and virtual chocolate for ya!
October 14th, 2008 at 5:17 pm
Dude is fine and wreaking havoc. Whole bottle of hair shine shit that has SILICONE in it all over the fucking floor. And nothing is getting that shit up. I am thinking of nailing him to the wall. Just gotta find the damn stud finder…
Hold me?
October 14th, 2008 at 7:38 pm
Says nothing..hands over chocolate and tequila…starts to back out of room…..WAIT!! Hair shine shit with silicone?? Been looking for some. Is it a spray on leave to dry type? (yes yes yes?)or is it one of those hair dryer finishing things? I used to be able to buy one in a pump bottle, spray it on, let it dry, your hair looks like a mirror. No longer available. *sob*
October 14th, 2008 at 8:02 pm
Did you find your skirt?
October 14th, 2008 at 8:10 pm
Cold coffee and vomit would definitely send me over the edge!
October 14th, 2008 at 8:26 pm
Kids will always come through for you in your darkest hour. Go Boo! Cold coffee was just icing on the cake.
October 14th, 2008 at 8:31 pm
Oh this is appropriate for me today. Thank you #meltdown
October 14th, 2008 at 9:39 pm
I can’t tolerate vomit. I vomit when someone else does, so hubby has to deal with kid vomit.
Kid vomit wouldn’t have gotten me out of work, unfortunately, because the school knows to call hubby for vomit and me for anything else.
October 14th, 2008 at 9:58 pm
Oh no,the giggles!
Hope Boo feels better!
October 14th, 2008 at 10:01 pm
Poor Boo - it stinks to be ill. But you sure can kick up some havoc at the same time!
October 14th, 2008 at 11:06 pm
Oh crap. I have a friend who laughs when things get really bad. It’s skeery.
October 14th, 2008 at 11:07 pm
I think in my next life I want to be your husband.
Just for shits and grins.
October 14th, 2008 at 11:18 pm
You can come join me in my pity party if you want. I’m just over here wallowing ( ;
October 14th, 2008 at 11:19 pm
You know, The visual that goes with this is priceless.
Bottom feeders all staring with mouths open…
as you giggle your way madly out the door. The door closes and one turns to the other and says ” Her kid is puking and she just walked out of her laughing?WTF?”
I guess Vomit is better than dealing with ass hats any day…
~snickering…..
October 14th, 2008 at 11:27 pm
Hmmmm…..sounds like how I leave work every day. I thought that was just normal. Uh oh!
October 15th, 2008 at 12:18 am
Sorry to hear about Boo. This is why I have a good set of speakers on my office computer. It magically pushes people out of my office when I’ve had enough.
October 15th, 2008 at 1:04 am
Poor Boo…At least you got to leave work.
October 15th, 2008 at 1:16 am
You make me chuckle, lady!
October 15th, 2008 at 2:16 am
I bet those fuckers were scared to death….HAHA! Poor Boo…I hope he feels better.
Hang in momma!
October 15th, 2008 at 2:56 am
You bet I’ll join you! Misery loves company.
October 15th, 2008 at 3:44 am
There is a bright side (no really). Once Boo goes to sleep you can get back in bed. Okay so it is a very small (very) silver lining. But sometimes I will take all I can get. Hang in there.
October 15th, 2008 at 4:37 am
Jinxed I tells ya…
October 15th, 2008 at 12:08 pm
Come sit on my lap honey. I’ll rock you. __hugs__
October 16th, 2008 at 3:22 am
Shoes. SHOES. Shoes will most definitely make it all feel better!
October 16th, 2008 at 3:19 pm
Isn’t it weird to be happy about vomit? Motherhood…
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