Best laid plans.
I was going to write a post about how much I hate Daylight Savings. About how I hate that it is daylight well into the night and my little melatonin deficient terrorist needs at least 2 hours of dark to even think about winding down.
I was going to bitch and moan about the fact that now he won’t fall asleep till after midnight (on a good night) and is an utter bastard to wake in the mornings and how it fades my curtains and pisses off the cows and just generally sucks arse and is now six months of the year…
And then I was going to love on my peeps that wrote the most awesome ‘I rock’ posts. Cause they were rockin’.
Oh, and reply to the terrifying stories in the comments of last post. I am still gunna reply in the comments once we get over the ’shaping’ and I can slow my heart rate down a bit after reading them. And apologise for not being around much of late, due to the shapage, and my all round general bad fucking mood.
Day four hundred and fifty of no fucking sleep. Or a week. Dunno. Whatevz. It is a lot and not enough.
Aaaaaaanyway. I was going to post about all of these things and more, dude there is shit loads of crap floating around in my head just screaming to offload on you all. But then something happened.
I did something stupid.
Something so monumentally stupid that even I am amazed at my utter idiocy.
I mopped the floors.
It is the end of the school holidays here (and who the fuck was it that had the bright idea to start daylight savings the day BEFORE back to school? As if we don’t have a hard enough fucking time getting the kids up for school on the first day back WITHOUT the added insanity of an hour earlier? Fucker.) and with all the extra children flitting in and out of my house the floors were disgusting. Even me, the lazy bitch environmentalist conserving water, couldn’t handle the state of the white tiles any longer. The wiping over with a wet towel treatment just wasn’t cutting it any more. I needed a bucket and a mop and disinfectant and shit.
I never EVER mop the floor when Boo is home. The kid is on permanent fast forward. He never ever stops moving. My legally blind father calls him ‘The Blur’. He also has a very short attention span. So wet floors and Boo do not mix.
I sort of over looked this tiny detail in my sleep deprived state.
So I set Boo up in front of the computer, getting his funk on with Michael and the Thriller zombie dudes and I mopped the floor in a delirious frenzy. Stopping to take a breath after finishing the family room, kitchen and dining. So roughly half the house.
Then I heard a thump, MPS later said it sounded like furniture falling, and then blood curdling screams.
He tried to walk carefully. He tried to walk slowly. He got distracted.
Boo slammed head first into the tiles. I spent the next hour or so freaking the fuck out, making sure he was OK. Googling concussion symptoms.
Okay. Brilliant.
So for the next hour or so I was in a state of well, hysterics, watching him closely for like brain to start oozing out of his ears or his nose, the kid decided he needed to get the fuck away from the madwoman crying and pumping Nurofen down his throat and staring deep into his eyes to see a blown pupil or whatever,
and he couldn’t walk.
His foot was swollen. In my oh-my-God-he-is-gunna-die hysterical haze I didn’t notice his (slightly) swollen foot. He could wiggle his toes but not put any weight on it. After the emergency room debacle when he broke his foot on the first day of school we decided to just watch him closely.
Which the kid lapped up.
‘Mummy, I need a sandwich. It will make me feel better’ the words I said to get the Nurofen down his throat coming back to haunt me.
‘Mummy, I am thirsty.’ ‘Mummy I want to watch The Wiggles’
The fucking Wiggles.
I suffered through. Guilt eating my insides.
I tried to ask him how he fell, to get some idea of how he hurt his foot. Did he bend it, fall on it, hit the wall? He thought he was getting into trouble. I told him that it was because Mummy mopped the floors and I really shouldn’t have, so his slipping over was not his fault. Mummy should have waited till he was asleep.
‘It was not my fault. It wasn’t your fault Mummy. I was Dad’s’ and he laughed.
Kid is well trained. And day-um he can hobble fast.
He gets the first day of term 4 off school. At least I don’t have to try and get him up an hour earlier tomorrow.
Suck on that Daylight Savings!
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34 Responses to “Best laid plans.”
October 5th, 2008 at 10:53 pm
Me? I hate daylight savings too. Just sayin’.
October 5th, 2008 at 11:24 pm
Poor Boo, I hope he’s better soon, so that he can go back to school and mummy can get herself a big giant martini because, of course, it will make you feel better.
As for the rest of it, we just went OFF daylight savings time last night and I’m utterly bereft and quite miserable at the thought of the encroaching night. Damn summer-stealing, joyless, soul-darkening winter time. (Who me? Suffer from SAD? Whatever gave you that idea?)
October 5th, 2008 at 11:25 pm
Oy, hope your Boo is ok. And I keep trying to do the “I rock” post but I just don’t feel too rockin’ lately. I did lose a decent amount of weight this month so I may use that as a motivator…point is I’m still working on it.
October 6th, 2008 at 12:27 am
Kelley, I dont know how you do everything you do on so little sleep. and STILL manage to be so fucking fabulous!
I hope Boo is OK, and dont beat yourself up about mopping the floor. BIG HUGS!!!
Oh, and PS…..
Daylight savings is a bitch. Fucks me and my kid up every time. My husband the sick bastard, LOVES it. Just not right.
October 6th, 2008 at 12:37 am
Sorry to hear about Boo. I hope he’s feeling top notch soon. We here in the states are just about to creep off DST, so it’s earlier to bed for us.
October 6th, 2008 at 12:49 am
Daylight Savings here in the states always falls on one of my Spring babies birthdays leaving EVERY fucking birthday party open to an excuse of, “Oh, I totally forgot to turn the clocks so that’s why we didn’t appear at ALL even though your kick ass all you can eat buffet style parties last for at least 6 hours.” I even put the clock turning time reminder ON the invitations despite it *ruining* my lovingly home made masterpiece of an invite.
Poor poor Boo! Hope he is feeling back to awesome in no time flat! And I am still channeling vibes for your awesomeness to prevail and YOU get the raise!
PS - My nudity was censored by Da Man.
The very same “Man” that TOOK the damn pic… I promise to send you the link to my new undercover blog, all this censorship is choking me!
October 6th, 2008 at 12:59 am
Oh no, poor Boo. I hope everything’s ok. Poor Kelley too.
October 6th, 2008 at 2:27 am
I am a non-mopper, too. And I live in a tiny little house, a travel trailer. I hate mopping. Because when I ever do, then I hate for anyone to walk on that floor for like a month, because “I JUST MOPPED THERE, YOU IDIOT”
Hope the Boo boy feels better.
October 6th, 2008 at 3:46 am
You know what’s a bad combo? Smart kids and guilty-feeling parents. It’ll get you every time. I hope his ankle feels better soon.
October 6th, 2008 at 5:49 am
Daylight Savings is evil. I hate it.
Hope Boo is okay. Love that he knows to blame Dad
October 6th, 2008 at 6:33 am
Jesus, the poor guy.
Bad Mammy!
October 6th, 2008 at 6:54 am
Damn.
Stupid daylight savings. Get up earlier, lazy southern twits!
Kel - love you, gal. Don’t be too nice to Boo. Take some time out to be nice to you too
Especially since it IS MPS’ fault. Obviously.
October 6th, 2008 at 8:34 am
This is why I simply don’t mop the floors. Oh, not that anyone would notice if I did. Or didn’t.
Hope Boo’s foot is back to normal soon. AND you get some sleep.
October 6th, 2008 at 10:43 am
How do you guys remember which way to turn the clock? Here we say “Spring forward, fall back” Or maybe we say “Fall forward, spring back?” Crap.
Stupid stupid daylight savings.
xoxo, SG
October 6th, 2008 at 3:27 pm
proof positive that floors should not be mopped.
ever.
the end.
October 6th, 2008 at 4:48 pm
Hint: Dirt coloured floors. Saves washing.
How is the foot today? (I know Boo is alright)
I hate daylight savings. Not because of all that hoo-ha over fading curtains, that’s complete rubbish anyway,(it’s the clocks that are different not the sun), but because at the end of a long HOT day, when the clock says 9pm, I want that sun to be GOING DOWN already. I’ve had enough glare by then to cause several migraines.
October 6th, 2008 at 5:37 pm
Hope the mini terrorist is hobbling well today.
Loathe and detest DST with a passion, almost as much as I deeply loathe Chadstone
tortureshopping centre.October 6th, 2008 at 8:32 pm
Why haven’t they invented cement floors with a drain in the middle that you just get the garden hose and squirt down?
That seems a lot more logical then the idea you can “save” daylight.
And I’m sorry Boo when boom.. you are such a good Mom btw. Here’s hoping this week is concussionlees for all of us.
October 6th, 2008 at 9:18 pm
I hate Daylight Savings Time. Makes no sense to me at all.
Your poor Boo! And you! I hope his foot is all better soon and he gets back to messing up your floors again.
October 6th, 2008 at 9:31 pm
My youngest apparently seeks out water (as evidenced in my last post) because if the floor is wet HE WILL SLIP ON IT. Every.single.time.
We mop after bedtime too. Just makes good sense.
October 6th, 2008 at 11:38 pm
That’ll teach you to do something wild and crazy like clean. You have to be more like me and just never do it. After a while, you start to actually like the lovely brown hue the floors take on.
Shoosh. I do so like it.
Glad Boo is OK. Poor kid.
October 7th, 2008 at 12:43 am
There’s a lesson in here, you know. It invovels floors. And water. And a mop.
October 7th, 2008 at 1:36 am
Um…didn’t you know The Wiggles are the ones who pushed for daylight savings. Because of Jeff. True fact.
October 7th, 2008 at 2:46 am
So..you learned your lesson right.. Hire people to clean your house when you are gone. You know..with that money you get from the money tree in the backyard.
Glad Boo will be OK.
October 7th, 2008 at 3:12 am
Poor Little Love. That’ll teach you to actually clean. Hope he heals up fast!
October 7th, 2008 at 3:14 am
Cleaning is DANGEROUS. And you are right–it’s awful for the environment. Mother Nature doesn’t spritz down bleach and soap like some global carwash during the rainy season, does she?
I will not recklessly mop for months now, as I’ve been reminded by your post that it is heinous. Thank you. You give and give, K, thank you!
October 7th, 2008 at 3:33 am
in my experience, mopping has almost always led to disaster; like that time we had the floor re-grouted and they said not to get it wet for 72 hours, and then 78 hours later i decided to scrub them in a fit of post-argument rage? yeah, i’m still sweeping up the flecks of that new grout that I unlodged.
i hope boo feels better soon!
October 7th, 2008 at 12:20 pm
Poor Boo. Kick MPS in the nuts for me. It will make us both smile.
October 7th, 2008 at 3:51 pm
Hahahaha, photos of my tits or the carpet…that was a good call. Sorry it has taken me ages to reply, been busy. Kids and all, I am sure you understand. I agree with Daylights savings as well. Makes life shit.
October 7th, 2008 at 4:26 pm
Awwww, Kel!! If I were stinking rich I would send us on a vacation somewhere hot, sunny with a ton of booze and hot cabana boys where we sleep late and down brunch with champagne and orange juice. Woman, I send you massive sleep vibes…it’s amazing what you’re doing on so little shut eye.
Major (((HUGS)) to you and Boo!!!
October 7th, 2008 at 5:06 pm
Poor Boo. I’m glad he didn’t hurt himself any worse than he did.
And daylight savings? Ah - that must be why my kids are acting particularly psychotic this week…
October 8th, 2008 at 2:58 pm
Next time you get the urge to mop floors - just come mop mine instead. Problem solvered.
Oh, and I’m not sure it’s daylight savings fault about school going back. Blame your ed department. Ours don’t go back till next week.
As for daylight savings - we almost missed it altogether. It was nice to be blissfully unaware for 2 whole days that the world around you is operating on an hours time difference. LOL.
Hope Boo’s foot is better soon. {{{HUGS}}}
October 9th, 2008 at 1:21 pm
It is always Dads fault.. end of story..
I got all excited to read the post below this post that I miss and I did a quick scroll saw the word spider and high tailed it the fuck out of there.. HELL NO.. I had to deal with a freaking wolf spider in my house. I hope you ended the suckers life.. I can’t read about it..
October 11th, 2008 at 5:57 pm
Well, I LOVE Daylight Saving because MY tiny terrorists wake up with the sun…
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