Madness. Banana phone.
Oh God Oh God Oh God Oh God Oh God Oh God Oh God Oh God Oh God Oh God Oh God Oh God
Oh how I wish I was saying this in pleasure…
Madness has descended and it smells like chocolate. Oh wait, that would be me. Chocolate has caffeine in it right? And smeared all over your face in a mad feeding frenzy means that I can absorb it transdermally. Like the use of long words? Awesome.
This week has been insanely insane. Like more insane than is usual in the Magneto Bold household.
It is school holidays. Madness is a given. Stoopid kids. Don’t come to me saying you are bored cause the floor needs mopping.
My job was reclassified. At a higher level. Ergo, Kelley and every other fucker in the world is applying for it. Writing job applications with Boo running around is not conducive for ‘identifying changes required to reflect current practices’ and ‘liaising with stakeholders’ and ‘I fucking rock and WTF? Just give me more cash biatches and where is my damn latte’ sort of wankings. Oh, and did I mention that they are looking for a ‘positive’ person. I have positive coming out my arse baby.
Monday and Tuesday nights were devoted to ‘blah blah blah I am freaking awesome *insert corporate speak here* see?! Cause I do lots of shit while I am fabulously fabulousing , and I did THIS and THIS and FMD how awesome was it when I initiated THIS and THIS and where is my damn latte’ peppered with my family madness.
Then me freaking the fuck out at my blog being OFF LINE and BROKEN like a BAJILLION times over the last few days and Boo standing in the kitchen singing in a sweet voice while making a mayonaise sandwich ‘fear me. Fear me. FEAR MEEEEEEEE!’
And working extra hours the last few days to try and finish a heap of projects before my position ended today, oh and lets not mention the HUMUNGOUS fucking project that was someone elses job dropped on my lap at the last minute needing to be finished and presented to the like really really REALLY big knobs (like you have no idea how BIG this knob important this person is) and I am all ‘I can do it cause I rock’ all the while with this song stuck in my head:
Trying to take a break from the 8th freaking redraft of the ginormous addressage of the selection criteria and finding we are shaped (an Aussie thing when you go over your allocated bandwidth and are slowed down to dial up. DIAL UP PEOPLE! How the fuck did people COPE back in the olden days?) cause Boo keeps downloading the same song over and over and over from YouTube. Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring banana phone. Shit. Fuck. Goddammit!
Finally finish the application, flick myself an email with it attached to work and then fall into bed. And then greeted with a boy who is warming up for an all night rave party. Lay while he dances and flings himself off walls with the freaking song looping in my head. He finally falls asleep as the sun is peeking under the drapes saying ‘Good morning sucka! Get your fat arse outta bed and go to work bwaaaaa haaaa haaaaaaa!’ Bitch.
Race around, get to work and snarl at anyone ANYONE even looking like they are gunna ask me something. I HAVE to get this shit finished and organise my childrens social lives and celebrate Sue’s birthday HAPPY BIRTHDAY GORGEOUS!!! and talk a couple of people off metaphorical ledges, and stress about the state of my eyebrows and I dunno, get this shit done before leaving for the day. Lets not forget packing up my desk *sob* and moving back to my old team until the successful arsehats applicants are announced.
Coffee bitch wanders over. ‘Oh, I forgot to tell you, I have organised for you to stay here till the selection process is completed’. Fucker.
So I chuck a tantie decide to leave work for the day, 2 hours after I should have finished but 3 hours less than I was expecting, and go home to the land of medieval internet speeds and freaked out children.
Is it bed time yet?
Banana phone.
~~~~~~~~~~
Don’t forget to link to your posts about your awesomeness in the previous post. I am loving the posts so far! You all freaking ROCK!
And MPS is on the phone to the internet provider to get us some more juice. Might have to sell one of the kids to pay for it. But which one? They all deserve to go right now.
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27 Responses to “Madness. Banana phone.”
October 2nd, 2008 at 9:35 am
draw straws..
shortest one gets sold for better speed…
October 2nd, 2008 at 9:43 am
ring ring ring ring ring ring ring …
BANANA PHONE!!!!!!!!!!!!
October 2nd, 2008 at 10:36 am
Wow! I thought my head was nutty at the moment… good luck with the application.
October 2nd, 2008 at 10:37 am
I wish I could come and throw some bricks at some heads for you and I am still thinking about my “rockedness”
October 2nd, 2008 at 10:40 am
It’s probably a REAL good thing Kerri isn’t home right now. Otherwise she’d probably kill me for playing that song over and over.. It’s AWESOME.
Good luck with the job crap, and I love the “sell a kid get more bandwidth” idea. That’s a winner. I’ll definitely keep that in mind next time we get shaped.
ps - I hate that you have to explain “shaped” for the yank audience. Lucky bastards. God, I miss real internet. *tiny sob*
October 2nd, 2008 at 11:28 am
OH MY GOD!
Well it’s better than that damn ‘Kissed A Girl’ song in my head.
and the game.
You lost it.
October 2nd, 2008 at 11:47 am
Sending you heaps of job getting vibes because you are so awesome and made of win that you truly deserve to get your job back and be paid much more money to do it.
However, along with those vibes it a big “Damn You” for getting Banana Phone stuck in my head….again.
October 2nd, 2008 at 12:07 pm
You’re top banana in MY book.
October 2nd, 2008 at 12:23 pm
I’m afraid to click on the song. Seriously. You have me all kinds of stressd out reading this post!!
October 2nd, 2008 at 12:51 pm
Damn you, Bettina!! *shakes tiny fist*
October 2nd, 2008 at 1:07 pm
Yeah, and I have been playing “My baby does the hanky panky” round and round in my head for days, and where in hell does that shit come from???
October 2nd, 2008 at 1:31 pm
Hey - I like that song!
And don’t you bitch to me about shaping, batch, because I’ve been on Dodo freaking Prepaid freaking Dialup for 2 months.
(That’s the appropriate tone to take with someone you haven’t spoken to for ages, right?)
Of course, when I find a new place I will get me some kickass wireless. Noice.
Good luck with the work thingy, and the fabulous freak-children. (Don’t know where they get that from???)
I<3U, babe.
October 2nd, 2008 at 2:25 pm
Poor you …. I hate writing selection criteria … and it must be a govt job for them to have to advertise YOUR position and waste all your time writing the thing and then they have to waste all their time reading SC and interviewing and shit when they know that they’ll give you the job anyway because of your previous fabulousness. Madness indeed.
October 2nd, 2008 at 3:32 pm
School holidays the joy :: sigh ::
Good luck with the job application and hope you get some sleep soon.
October 2nd, 2008 at 5:52 pm
Umm, not sure I followed all that, but I think you need hugs, coffee, chocolate and shoes. Probably in that order. Oh and good luck vibes. And sleepy Boo vibes. And faster internet vibes. When you’re done with them can I have them?
October 2nd, 2008 at 6:35 pm
I had this conversation with my husband after I read that Ted Turner said that “If I had it to do all over again, I would not have had so many (children).” He has 5. We have 4. I turned to my husband and said, “Which one(s) should go?” And it really depends on what day you ask me.
But I do know, if you could wish away babies when you were pregnant, which ones would not have made it. But that’s all about me hating pregnancy and not about the babies themselves.
Fuck. I’m rambling again. WHERE IS MY MEDICATION???
October 2nd, 2008 at 6:53 pm
Breathe Kelley. In, out, again. Always remember to read.
No idea what the banana phone song is (and NO, I’m NOT downloading it to find out) but I’ve had that kissed a girl song in my head for two days so I’ve got a glimmer of the hell that is yours.
I say we ditch the families and head for the hills for a girls’ weekend. What’s halfway between Israel and Oz?
October 2nd, 2008 at 9:31 pm
Okay then. I won’t bother you with a comment, I’ll just tiptoe quietly away and let you get on with things.
(hope you get the position)
October 2nd, 2008 at 9:59 pm
I’m not even gonna pass along what song has been suck in MY head the past few days, I used up all my weekly allowed filthiness yesterday making an arse of myself and it was only Wednesday. Darn. BUT - Your song got a whole 36 seconds before I stopped it (slammed my fingers in the laptop to stop it immediately!). Thank you Boo, more Grease please?
October 2nd, 2008 at 11:27 pm
I’m loving the banana phone song, but I do see how it would lodge itself in your brain and never stop. I’m going to play it for Jaymes later, he loves that kind of stuff.
October 3rd, 2008 at 2:30 am
*hopes for good internets soon for Kelley*
And, in high school I had a teacher that had a really old yellow car that constantly backfired. So we used to sing at her, “Bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, Banana car”
October 3rd, 2008 at 3:39 am
I sing that as I swagger into the bedroom, ET has ‘answer’ it…
October 3rd, 2008 at 3:27 pm
When do you hear about the new position? And, banana hammock. Banana hammock. See? Like I said. Love it.
Did you find that damn spider yet?
October 5th, 2008 at 9:48 am
Dear God - can’t you download and SAVE the ruddy song? Or is that just not Boo-kosher? Cos he is part Israeli, isn’t he?
I am always flabbergasted at how well you cope on very little sleep - I am a trainwreck when I’m sleep-deprived. You, on the other hand, look fabulous, blog fabulous, and usually manage to wear matching shoes. Day-umn!
October 5th, 2008 at 10:24 am
And after taking 30 minutes for the internet connection to manage to get up enough speed to send that comment - Wordpress tells me I’m commenting too fast. Oh the irony and the sheer white-hot rage…
October 5th, 2008 at 11:52 am
Am currently Po’ed @ Hubby, so what better way to make the best of it by lying next to him in bed tuning out his South Park rerun with “Ring, Ring, Ring, Ring banana Phone…eating peanut M&M’s and Grey Goose. I’m having a kick ass Saturday night while you’re whipping up something for lunch
That’s still the shiznit! I’m a dork,and easily amused, I know! Hope you got some good rest last night!
October 9th, 2008 at 1:30 pm
I AM NOT PRESSING THE BUTTON..THE CARTOON IS EVIL ENOUGH AS IT IS..
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