I am a simple girl.
And simple things amuse me.
Like Boo running full tilt into a wall, turning around and doing it again.
Making my feet super icy and then going to bed to a sleeping MPS and placing my icy cold toes on his super warm scrotum and hearing him squeal like a little girl.
This Youtube clip.
If I was American I would totally vote for him just for the dance moves.
Finding out that the chips I ate yesterday, the chips that literally make me break out in a sweat for no apparent reason, salt and vinegar chips, are called ‘douche chips’
Thankyou Flea for your comment over at Burgh Baby totally cracking my shit up.
This exchange with Boo:
‘Bedtime Boy!’
‘Oh MOOOOOOOM!’
Then breaking it down and spraying each other in spittle.
This joke:
“Why haven’t women found the perfect man?
Cause no man has a dick made of chocolate that ejaculates money”.
*snigger* Hello Google freakshows!
Stoopid people, doing stoopid things. My shit, it is cracking up.
So what sent you peeing your pants this week. Entertain a simple girl.
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37 Responses to “I am a simple girl.”
August 16th, 2008 at 1:12 pm
LMAO I used to love the stu-stu stutter rap! Will be singing it all bloody day now!
August 16th, 2008 at 1:17 pm
bwahaha you nuts girl.
This had me crackin up - http://yeahtotallyright.blogspot.com/2008/08/china-to-little-girl-fuck-you-7-year.html
August 16th, 2008 at 1:17 pm
I LOVE BO!!!
And I love Kelley. MWAH!
August 16th, 2008 at 1:17 pm
Hahahahaha……dick made of chocolate….NICE!
August 16th, 2008 at 1:34 pm
money as an ejaculate would be waaaaaay better than semen.
August 16th, 2008 at 1:37 pm
Boy, you are simple now. I remember the kelley that used to reply to comments and occasionally visit too
August 16th, 2008 at 2:26 pm
Seeing, on twitter, that Boo is eating a wet roll of toilet paper. At least it’s easy on the teeth.
August 16th, 2008 at 3:46 pm
Well, somehow the video of Obama dancing led me to a video of Beaker the Muppet which led me to the Swedish Chef which made A. so hysterical he couldn’t breathe. That was funny.
August 16th, 2008 at 4:22 pm
Heidi and I are rocking out to the st st st stutter rap.
August 16th, 2008 at 4:50 pm
I’ve got one! Dh was doing a wee and D (aged 5) decided to join him. He says, “Hey Dad, let’s see if we can make the sign of the cross!” and stood on one side of the toilet bowl. But the wee ran out and he said, “Oh no, we’ve run out of power!”
The catholic education must be working!
August 16th, 2008 at 4:58 pm
Oh, Kel…
I loved that song… “No! Sleep! Till Bedtime!”
And seriously, how long would a dick made of chocolate last?
Cheers, Andrew
August 16th, 2008 at 5:20 pm
Leigh: Awesome. Better than that ‘I kissed a girl’ song… DAMMIT!
Miss: Just checked it out Bwaaaaa haaaaa haaaaaa!
VDog: Back atcha. And not gunna make a crack about who is Bo or anything…
Hockeyman: And tasty. And a conundrum, tasty snack or cash ejaculate?
Sassy: Totally.
VE: Dude, I almost didn’t comment in the comments (even though I was planning to) based purely on that comment. I have been a little DISTRACTED by all the tooth pulling and shit. AND I have been visiting. OK, not every day, but SHEESH I have these people that I spat from my girly bits needing me to do shit for them and work to pay for the therapy they are gunna need from their mother spending every waking second on the internet.
lceel: Good point. Wonder what it will look like out the other end? Will find out soon enough I expect. Ew
Lunasea: Oh how I love a laugh that leads to aphixiation! Did you get a video of it?
Marita: Awesome!
Tess: Bwaaaaa haaaa haaaaaa! Somehow I don’t think the teacher will be too impressed though. Cause you KNOW he is gunna share that at school.
Andrew: That is the dilemma. I think I need a genie to wish for unlimited cash ejaculating penii!
August 16th, 2008 at 6:50 pm
You have made my day! I haven’t heard stutter rap for about 17 years and I still know all the words.
And BaRick Astley Obama in one post.
Respect! Innit.
August 16th, 2008 at 8:41 pm
Not the best quality… and I may already have blogged these, but these always make me laugh.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7O5DJMIRvZo
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DgGFihXpNvA
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4dXGj_-orxw&NR=1
I’m hoping one of those 3 will make you laugh!
August 16th, 2008 at 8:44 pm
Well, I liked the iced toes on the scrotum visuals, certainly. THAT’S just good clean fun.
August 16th, 2008 at 9:49 pm
No pants peeing here, my week has been sadly lacking in mirth. But things are looking up. Had a fantastic lunch in town with my kids today.
August 16th, 2008 at 10:05 pm
If Cleatus ejaculated money, I would definitely give more blow jobs. I may even drag him around to the mall with me and just give a quick hand job as I found pretty things to buy.
And I’m totally voting for Obama now. I was already pretty sure he was my guy, but that video? Sealed the deal.
AND, one last thing, I LOVE douche chips! They are so yum!
August 16th, 2008 at 11:45 pm
D* made of chocolate + Obama video are getting me through the morning…
August 17th, 2008 at 12:33 am
Loved the Barack Roll.
I can’t amuse you. I fold under pressure.
August 17th, 2008 at 1:29 am
I had absolutely no idea about the douche chip thing until Flea said it. I’m absolutely using it for now on.
My very favorite silly simple pleasure is watching the Bulldog crash into the wall when I throw her toy. The wall has been there her entire life, so you’d think she would learn.
August 17th, 2008 at 4:12 am
LOVE that Obama video! I wish I could vote twice for him - once for me, once for you.
August 17th, 2008 at 5:36 am
That Obama clip gave me a pretty good chuckle!
August 17th, 2008 at 6:18 am
BO = Barack Obama
Kisses all over your cute face, lovey!
August 17th, 2008 at 10:03 am
FB has just learnt the Stutter Rap …thanks Kelley, at least it replaces the Scissor Sister’s “I can’t decide whether you should live or die” song he kept serenading me with!
August 17th, 2008 at 10:56 am
Hahahaha
…and what makes me laugh you ask?? … not much as it seems.
I recently blogged about the small things that amuse this small mind:
“I’m writing this down for no other reason than I’ve been giggling over these sayings for days … because I’m simple-minded and perverse I suppose … but I really want to remember them in case I ever get to slip them into conversation…
You can’t polish a turd…
……. but you can roll it in glitter.
If you can’t be kind…
…. at least have the decency to be vague.
You can’t get blood from a stone…
….. but you can squeeze it out of a baby.
(Claire Hooper on seeing a pic of a politician picking up a baby)”
August 17th, 2008 at 11:21 am
“You can’t get blood from a stone…
….. but you can squeeze it out of a baby.
(Claire Hooper on seeing a pic of a politician picking up a baby)”
Bahahaha… Now THAT’S the laugh I needed today. Hell yeah.
August 17th, 2008 at 11:33 am
Hahhahahaha!! I love it when my son runs into things, I laugh…he gets reeeeeally mad, which makes me laugh even harder.*Only if he doesnt get hurt, I’m NOT sick. Just twisted*
This weekend my husband and I had a good laugh while we made “N” try to say hippopotamus. For some reason he couldnt get it right. It was really cute, and we kept laughing at his “cuteness” every time he screwed it up. Which was a lot. I think it lasted for a good 20 minutes
August 17th, 2008 at 11:37 am
Whoops - the above comment doesn’t sound right - “it doesn’t *take* much it seems” is what I meant to say
August 17th, 2008 at 12:24 pm
Well nothing really made me crack up. Another one of those weeks.
Money ejaculate, yeah that sounds good. Shame, I ain’t got a man!
August 17th, 2008 at 12:27 pm
I love Stutter Rap! I love staying up very very late until a quarter to 11!
I can’t type the really funny thing as Miss 10 is looking over my shoulder, but it involves flatulence and intimacy! Nuff said!
Now she thinks I’m crazy. Pot. Kettle. Black my sweet!
I have asked Miss 10 for a contribution to this thread and she is telling me a dirty joke I remember from when I was 10 about turning on spotlights as there is a snake in a bush! Will that do?
August 17th, 2008 at 9:37 pm
getting pissed.
Everythings funny when you are pissed.
August 18th, 2008 at 7:38 pm
Oh I SO need that kind of man…
August 19th, 2008 at 3:41 am
what made me laugh? well, that Obama Rickrolling thing nearly killed me I laughed so hard. And I saw Flea’s comment too and was confused until I realized what she was talking about. And watching my 24lb 1-yr old tackle his 34lb 4-yr old brother…and the baby can’t even walk yet…damn funny stuff!
August 19th, 2008 at 1:01 pm
I would have been much better at whoring if men did that.
August 21st, 2008 at 3:44 am
Things that make me laugh:
My husband took my 3 year old into a strip club in Prague to pee.
FIL is a genius (literally - he’s in Mensa and won’t let anyone forget it) but laughs at juvenile humor and can’t operate a dryer.
That’s all I can say right now, but there’s more.
August 21st, 2008 at 12:12 pm
lol, Obama is funny !!!!!
August 23rd, 2008 at 3:00 pm
Thanks for the link to the stutter rap. I have been saying “Bedtime Boy’s” for years but could never remember what song it was from.
The Obama vid was funny but makes you think that some people have got waaaaaay too much time on their hands.
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