if money was no object
What would you do when princess my-father-died-in-a-horrible-accident-and-I-need-you-to-help-me-get-shit-loads-of-cash-outta-the-country actually came through with the goods?
If suddenly the Government realised what an asset to the country you are and deposited the petty cash tin in your bank account instead of spending it on cupcakes?
If you let the old biddy at the supermarket in before you in a fleeting moment of mad ‘what the heck, I need to do one good deed in my life’ moment and then she handed you a wad of cash cause she is secretly a bajillionaire?
What would you do if you could just buy whatever you wanted?
Me. I got it all planned out baby.
Shit like university funds, money to charity, therapy for Boo?
Nah. Fuck that.
I want a trampoline room.
A huge room, floor a trampoline and walls covered in velcro. And velcro suits for everyone!
Dude.
Trampoline room
I would be all, would you care to retire to the trampoline room?
And you would be all ‘Woot!’
Cause, dammit, a freaking TRAMPOLINE ROOM!
The kiddies wont be left out of course, while the parents are having uber fun throwing themselves at walls dressed in a suit that looks suspiciously like a straight jacket….
Gives ‘little shits’ a whole new meaning eh?
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43 Responses to “if money was no object”
August 10th, 2008 at 11:37 am
If money was no object, you know I would take you on a birthday vacation, and then buy you so many shoes you’d need another house for your shoe closet alone.
August 10th, 2008 at 11:44 am
There would be so many things I would love to do, and the whole trampoline room sounds wonderful, after I get my bladder fixed, as peeing is not fun either while jumping, running out, getting suit off, and then realize there is nothing really to pee out…. it just goes on like that. Love the trampoline room, it would be a party!
Great thoughts.
August 10th, 2008 at 11:45 am
AHAHAH I love the idea of having a trampoline room. It’s like an adult bounce house. Please tell me there is a strobe light/disco ball and lots of booze readily available?
August 10th, 2008 at 11:46 am
ohhh that looks awesome fun!!
August 10th, 2008 at 11:53 am
I’m so coming to your parties when you get rich.
August 10th, 2008 at 12:28 pm
I’ve always wanted to see small children flying out of an elephant’s arse.
August 10th, 2008 at 12:28 pm
ooohhhh…trampoline room…
August 10th, 2008 at 12:31 pm
Apparently, elephant farts are rather powerful.
August 10th, 2008 at 12:55 pm
I totally saw THAT picture on fail blog and giggled.
A trampoline room? Sounds awesome. I would love a room full of shoes. Lots and lots of shoes…
One can dream.
August 10th, 2008 at 1:27 pm
I’ve never understood that “If money was no object” saying. Because money isn’t an object. It’s more of a concept. Right?
BTW, that’s where baby Republicans come from.
August 10th, 2008 at 2:49 pm
Can we dress Boxboy up in his little velcro suit and throw him at the wall? That sounds like oodles of fun.
August 10th, 2008 at 4:15 pm
I would so fly to Australia to retire to your trampoline room.
August 10th, 2008 at 4:24 pm
Add a little vodka, and you’ve got yourself a winner!
I’m talking about the trampoline, not the elephant ass slide. Ew.
August 10th, 2008 at 4:52 pm
Yes. I love the idea of a tramampoline room!
And the velcro sticky walls? Great idea, so long as you don’t go in there alone. ‘Cos, what would happen if you got stuck on the wall and no one could hear you scream?
August 10th, 2008 at 7:20 pm
I’d buy that pony that parent’s wouldn’t cough up the dough for. Fuckers.
Oh and I’m move. After buying new id’s for the whole family and then I’d hide. Druggo sibblings can smell cash from 100kms away you know!
August 10th, 2008 at 8:32 pm
If money were no object? I’d build the house of my dreams on a five acre block of land with guest houses scattered around a couple of the acres, then all my aussie internet friends could stay over for their own AussieBlogHer weekend.
August 10th, 2008 at 9:13 pm
Woo yeah! Trampoline room sounds good. How high is the ceiling but?
August 10th, 2008 at 10:13 pm
Hehehe awesome!!
August 10th, 2008 at 10:14 pm
In my younger years I always said I would keep working and do charitable work, blah, blah, blah. Now that I am older and wiser I realize that life’s too short,you might as well live it up.
So, I am totally adding the trampoline room to my bucket list. Why wait for wads of money?
August 10th, 2008 at 11:25 pm
A trampoline room would be awesome! I have asked the boyfriend several hundred times about making a room filled with mattresses, pillows and blankets. As soon as you open the door, every inch of the room just a wonderland of comfy goodness. I don’t think I would ever leave that room, it would be amazing.
August 10th, 2008 at 11:45 pm
I love this idea, you’re just brilliant!
August 11th, 2008 at 12:23 am
Seems to me those 2 activities need to be combined somehow — trampoline room + elephant ass slide.
I’m working on it . . .
August 11th, 2008 at 12:25 am
Oh. My. Goddess! I would NEVER have even thought of a trampoline room……but holy crap its BRILLIANT! Brilliant I tell you!
Talk about stress relief.
So….if you are nice to the lady in front of you and she DOES turn out to be a secret billionaire,and not just another run of the mill depends wearing wench, can I please come play in your trampoline room? Pleeeeeease?
August 11th, 2008 at 1:13 am
The ultimate babysitting idea. Velcro sleeping bag. Put the kid in, zip it up, smack that puppy to the top of the wall and go party.
August 11th, 2008 at 1:41 am
Hmm, the trampoline room sounds good in theory, but in reality I think you would have a bunch of pee puddles from all the mommies and their weak bladders. Or maybe that’s just me?
August 11th, 2008 at 3:05 am
This has got to be the winner of “the funniest damn thing I have read all week award”!!
where do you get these ideas??
August 11th, 2008 at 6:04 am
If money was no question, I’d hop on a plane, (first class of course), fly to Australia to pick you up, and then we’d go to Italy to buy shoes and Switzerland to buy chocolate.
August 11th, 2008 at 8:35 am
Trampoline room is cool as long as we can build ‘em in Santorini and Hawaii.
August 11th, 2008 at 8:37 am
Dude!!! I’m so glad to meet you, you’re feckin’ mental, but in a good way. People say that to me a lot but I never really got what they meant until now
Velcro is the best invention since sliced beer.
August 11th, 2008 at 11:07 am
If money was no object…
I’d velcro Crocs to every spare inch of your trampoline room
No, seriously….
I would
No, really seriously….I’d drown Canberra in liquid chocolate and honey.
Coz we need far more than a spoonful of sugar to stomach their rot
August 11th, 2008 at 11:36 am
AFTER paying down ALL our debt, the first thing I would buy is … a California King mattress set. AHHHH …
August 11th, 2008 at 11:43 am
A) If money were no object I’d be in Australia so fast with new shoes, vodka and coffee you wouldn’t know what hit you.
B) A trampoline room sounds so freaking awesome, I may have to re-do my bedroom!
C) I was afraid to scroll down to see all of the elephant picture for fear there was going to be a giant poop there. Instead, just a kid and I almost peed myself!
August 12th, 2008 at 2:26 am
Ha ha ha. The elephant one is classic. I here there’s a Richard Gere version too and the kids get to dress in gerbil outfits…
August 12th, 2008 at 3:14 am
Okay, I am pretty sure you just sold me on the idea! but how do you get off the velcro walls?
August 12th, 2008 at 7:30 am
That is the best FAIL ever!!
August 12th, 2008 at 9:23 am
I hope that the elephant makes appropriately loud noises.
August 12th, 2008 at 9:53 am
I would *so* fly the 17+ hours to come over for the velcro room! But since you’d be all filthy, stink’in rich in the manner of Dutch Chocolate Ice Cream … you’d have to pay for my flight.
I’d make it worth it, promise … 12 years of gymnastics + velcro room = fuck the olympics!
August 12th, 2008 at 10:03 am
I would want the trampoline room to myself or one or two of my large elephant poops would land on it too and I would not be in control of my own movements. I would add a room full of balls next to the trampoline room - a ballroom would be fun.
August 12th, 2008 at 11:28 am
Why yes. Yes, I would love to retire to the trampoline room.
OMG at the poop chute!
August 12th, 2008 at 11:43 am
Screw the one trampoline room, you could have an entire fun house. Now that would be fun.
August 13th, 2008 at 4:19 am
haaaaaaaa! I love the elephant pooping out the kids. OMG. I think I would put a Starbucks in my house. ANd maybe a spa.
August 19th, 2008 at 3:29 am
but you’ll still let in those of us adults that are in actual straight-jackets, right?
August 22nd, 2008 at 1:12 am
I’m so with you! I totally want a trampoline room! I already have a padded floor room (we call it the playroom, but it has gymnastic rings and a padded floor, but no padded walls - which is cause for another “covered in blood” story).
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