I know who you are.
bwaaaaaaaa haaaaaa haaaaaaaaa!
Now I have a little project. A plaything. ‘Concerned’ it is you.
I know who you are. And you messed with the wrong bitch. You can say what you want about me, but bring my kids into it and you better run and hide. Snoskred spent all afternoon going through IP thingys (shuddup!) and found your dirty little trail.
I want to thank you ‘Concerned’, no only have you entertained me immensely, but you have brought out the love of the internetz.
Thankyou everyone for your support, comments and emails. I love each and every one of you. You have humbled the biatch. Offers of hit men, deadly paper cuts and smiting abounded. Along with pointing out other potential haters. Meh. If you don’t like me, don’t read. What possible benefit would you get from pretending to be nice to me?
So, my lovelies, I have a question. What would YOU do to a troll?
Lets give ‘concerned’ something to worry about.
~~~~~~~~~
I have heaps more pics of my lovelies from BlogHer that I will post soon.
I just didn’t want them mixed up with this nastiness, lest ‘Concerned’ in her deluded little world thought that she was any where near as awesome as my internetz. My internetz = awesome, Concerned = wanna be.
Popularity: 63% [?]
69 Responses to “I know who you are.”
July 29th, 2008 at 12:44 pm
What would YOU do to a troll?
Beat them into submission with their own club. *nods* Then they’d probably hide under the bridge for a while again.
July 29th, 2008 at 12:45 pm
Dude, Inquiring Minds Want to Know. Dooooo Tell.
July 29th, 2008 at 12:47 pm
I’d break both elbows ensuring both were in 90º casts then make sure she got a case of genital crabs. No itching allowed.
Either that or a public humiliation where you tell us her address and we all post samples of poo via Australia Post. The further away the better- think of the smell after 7 days from here!
July 29th, 2008 at 12:47 pm
My what a twisted web we weave … can’t wait to witness the smack down.
Muahahahahahahahahahahaha!
July 29th, 2008 at 12:47 pm
Make her squirm. Make her sweat. Leave her wondering if you’ll out her for all the internet to have its’ way with her…
And then be the bigger person. Don’t let her drag you down to her level.
(I know, I know, not terribly fun and nasty of me. But sometimes my adult self takes over. You know, when her sedatives wear off.)
July 29th, 2008 at 12:51 pm
May I just say I will work my hardest never to get on your bad side?
July 29th, 2008 at 12:51 pm
Out her ass. Please.
July 29th, 2008 at 12:52 pm
I’d sooooo out them, after giving her enough time to squirm. What good is torture if there is no squirming. Squirming is important and totally underated!
July 29th, 2008 at 1:03 pm
What would I do with a troll? For the most part, ignore them. Honestly, life is too short and I have more important things to do with my time. But that’s just me (and you did ask).
LOVE the clip!!!
July 29th, 2008 at 1:16 pm
Give ‘er hell, Kel! And, I have a question for you? Did they change the words to Kookaburra? Cause our new version no longer says gay. I thought it was weird to PC a kids song.
July 29th, 2008 at 1:17 pm
Oooooooooooooo Hooker Heels, don’t leave us in suspense. Give some clues. Give us some tiny little morsel to pounce upon so we can rip out her spleen and use it as a slip ‘n’ slide.
What would I do to a troll? Heh, the coven is dealing with one right now, and the results will be vicious.
How you’ve dealt with this moron who possesses the brain of a syphilitic squirrel is most amusing. Laugh at its pathetic attempt to be clever.
July 29th, 2008 at 1:22 pm
Oh, does Concerned live by me? Want me to egg her windows??
July 29th, 2008 at 1:27 pm
Oh. Dear.
The troll left a trail.
The first fuck-up most dipshits do!
Keep the bitch guessing, keep referring to her, slowly.drop.hints.
Like Chinese water torture.
Broad enough to not single her out-right but close enough to make the fucktard sweat bullets.
Then feed her to us hungry hordes so we can rip the dumb fuckstick a new one
But that’s just my pacifist idea, my blood thirsty revenge thoughts on the matter will take a little longer to email to you
July 29th, 2008 at 1:49 pm
At BlogHer…. everyone agreed to IGNORE. Not even mention them or feed into them, ever. Hit DELETE was their suggestion.
Or hit them upside the head. They have SERIOUS issues to be wasting their time. SERIOUS issues.
July 29th, 2008 at 1:53 pm
Well what I’d like to do to a troll and what I did do (when it happened to me on usenet) were opposites … but then I had no way of tracking the little hairy gobshite down and kicking him a new butthole.
But YOU GO GIRL …. Oooo think of the mind games you could play with ‘concerned’ and make the hairy little thing squirm. … especially if you know someone with the power to track ‘concerned’ down.
July 29th, 2008 at 2:01 pm
Hand the info over to a friend of ours. YOUKNOWWHO.
This friend will know what to do. And will LOVE doing it.
It’s one thing to be a troll, but to smite and belittle, and insult a child with Autism, is downright nasty. And should be dealt with one an international scale.
July 29th, 2008 at 2:15 pm
Out the troll. Then never mention it again. Ever. Being ignored is worse.
July 29th, 2008 at 2:16 pm
Wow…I say what Hooch says!! That’s bad ass.
I’m glad you know and I hope you feel better.
July 29th, 2008 at 2:54 pm
OMG !!!! I NEVER want to upset any of you…. ever !!!!
July 29th, 2008 at 3:07 pm
Do nothing, say nothing, dont even hint at anything for a while, say 3 months.
Then do something devastatingly witty and humiliating to her.
July 29th, 2008 at 3:45 pm
WS forgot to suggest her favourite control measure for those displaying “inappropriate behaviours” a pillow over the face while you whisper lovingly in their ear ‘go to the light, go to the light’, a method commonly called the ‘tontine treatment’
Me, I call down meteors to smite mine enemies
July 29th, 2008 at 4:21 pm
Eff that noise. I say out them behind the scenes. Then let everyone start being their ‘friend’ and see how THEY like the treatment.
ps. look at all of these north american commenters. sellout.
pps. shouldn’t you have been curing autism or something, instead of writing this post?
ppps. fabulous shoes.
July 29th, 2008 at 4:25 pm
If it were me, yeah, I’d ignore the troll too. Only because I have a severe case of wannagetrevengeitis and almost ran down an ex boyfriend with my car EONS ago, so I tend to try to let things go now.
July 29th, 2008 at 4:30 pm
Can it involve stiletto heels and voodoo dolls?
July 29th, 2008 at 5:01 pm
Does she have a blog Kelley? OUT HER. Right now.
Woohooooo - blogwars!!!
July 29th, 2008 at 5:03 pm
Cut out her heart with a spoon.
“Why a spoon, cousin? Why not an axe?”
“Because it’s DULL, you twit. It’ll hurt more.”
Plagiarised from Robin Hood Prince of Thieves.
July 29th, 2008 at 5:52 pm
Hey and guess what? My troll came out of hiding today too. I was almost starting to wonder what had happened to her.
This time she was mostly nice, but damn if I don’t recognise that IP addy.
July 29th, 2008 at 5:57 pm
I’m kinda curious as to what will happen here now. I hope it’s blogged and commented about so I’m not left in the dark.
Goaldeebug:- I love that movie!
July 29th, 2008 at 6:05 pm
Honestly, if I found out who it was I’d let my bloggy friends know…
July 29th, 2008 at 6:28 pm
I bet Concerned is getting REALLY concerned about now…….
July 29th, 2008 at 6:55 pm
Two words for trolls: French Quartering
take a look - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hanged,_drawn_and_quartered#French_quartering
Love ya!
July 29th, 2008 at 6:57 pm
The sentence for trolling should be….drumroll….
French Quartering (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hanged,_drawn_and_quartered#French_quartering)
July 29th, 2008 at 8:36 pm
Definitely would like to hear the details on how Snoskred helped out. You can see my Troll recap at http://bit.ly/anonymous, but I have not “outed” the troll at this time as it has some family history and were waiting on additional information.
July 29th, 2008 at 9:36 pm
Well, let me give you a little bit of info that Concerned may wish she’d had before she decided to be “anonymous”. And I’ll try explaining it in a really simple way because I also know this person, and I know they’re not the most intelligent bulb on the Christmas tree. If you want a technical answer, do a bit of reading up on IP addresses.
Wherever you go on the internet, whatever you do, you leave little breadcrumbs of yourself. So when you visit Kelley’s blog one day and spend literally hours reading back through her pages here.. leaving the breadcrumbs everywhere, and I look through the server logs and I can see exactly what you’ve done, what pages you looked at, when you looked at them, how long you looked at them for..
I take the breadcrumb from here and put it in over there, and it tells me more about you. I keep doing that, and eventually it leads me back to you.
And then you send an email.. same breadcrumbs..
Plus we scambaiters have some awesome toolz and skillz that we use to track the scammers. I could tell you about that, but then I’d have to kill you. Sorry!
And I gotta tell you, the amount of time she spent reading this blog.. it made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. Serious stalkerage. You know how kelley’s blog has a “next page” link at the bottom of the page? This person spent the majority of 24 hours going over 56 previous pages - that is 360 posts - each page has 6 posts on it. At one point she sat here reading for at least 4 hours straight.
All I can say to her is - get a hobby, or a life.
I hate to think that people are taken in by her - some people think she’s a nice person. And maybe she is - until she thinks nobody is watching.
And to the person who did it..
I know who you are.
I know what you did.
It makes me sick.
Will I tell? Will you ever know if I told? Or will people just stop being friends with you for no apparent reason?
I hope that shit right there keeps you the fuck awake at night, beyotch..
Anonymous letters are at the bottom of a very slimy pit. I personally believe it is one of the worst things you can do to someone. When you do that you put some seriously bad Karma out there, and it will come back to bite you, Concerned.
July 29th, 2008 at 10:39 pm
This has been a crazy week so I missed the concern of “Concern.” Just wanted to say that you keep on doing what you do, Kel. Asshats like “Concerned” are good enough to kiss you pretty, pretty shoes! That being said enough, “Concerned” doesn’t sound empathetic or smart enough to even walk in those pretty, pretty shoes.
July 29th, 2008 at 10:54 pm
I know some bent-nose guys. I’m just sayin’.
July 29th, 2008 at 11:11 pm
I can only rehash other peoples suggestions, but I reckon outing and then ignoring would be a good tactic.
And Snoskred (please let me have spelt that right!)if I lived in Au, and was old enough to buy one, I would so buy you a drink!
July 29th, 2008 at 11:52 pm
why are you even giving her so much power? Although it’s hard, just let it go.
July 29th, 2008 at 11:52 pm
Wow! It seems I’ve missed alot here.
July 30th, 2008 at 1:31 am
Just for clarification — is this the same “Concerned” you wrote about the other day? Did you get more than one email from this asshat?
Let me at ‘em! Let me at ‘em!
July 30th, 2008 at 2:34 am
Snoskred is cool. I’d want her in my camp.
I think this whole comment thread has probably humiliated “concerned” and she’ll slink back into her little hole.
July 30th, 2008 at 2:46 am
Wow. I hadn’t even seen any of this last night when I wrote my most recent post.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I’M AFRAID OF.
Even though your “concerned” is clearly an idiot, it would still shred me if he/she were talking to me. I can’t handle it as well as you.
Teach me, Yoda.
Nice job standing up for yourself. You are an awesome mom and an awesome writer and an awesome person. That is all.
July 30th, 2008 at 3:48 am
I am new fan of your site..and I am appalled by your troll.. I read your post to your ugly troll and their comments .. and it was disgusting a person can be so horrible to another person AND attacking a kid.. WTF is that??
I know karma will come back and get this person..
July 30th, 2008 at 5:32 am
Take your troll shopping for new shoes. Hold their hand and sing “Feelings” together. Share a chocolate dipped ice cream cone and draw pictures of unicorns and rainbows with them.
or
Leave a tip with Americas Most Wanted about them, pickpocket their wallet and leave it in a local meth house, use their alias to leave abortion propoganda on all the conservative blogs out there, order a subscription of dog poop in a bag to be delivered to their doorstep every month for a year.
Your choice…
July 30th, 2008 at 5:34 am
Whatever you do, you must post it here for our enjoyment! I was BURNING with rage when I read the things she said to you, and I should mention that I rarely become enraged - let alone burning (which is different from flaming, FYI).
I million heart love you, Kelley!
July 30th, 2008 at 5:35 am
Always ignore the trolls. Without your attention they die.
July 30th, 2008 at 6:40 am
Sarah has a point, but I say out the person.
It amazes me the amount of time the troll has spent on your blog!
Be careful with just using IP though, the ISP I use uses a roaming IP, and we’ve had a situation on a forum I frequent where the IP pointed to about 10 people because of the roaming problem.
July 30th, 2008 at 6:56 am
Wow. Snoskred is bad ass. Totally remind me never to be bad to you.
Not that I would be.
July 30th, 2008 at 7:09 am
Well I admit to leaving lots of “breadcrumbs” here because when I first found your blog I wanted to catch up. I also love to come back and read comments. So visiting often and staying a while aren’t all bad, right?
But, gah, I am not a people person, and I sure don’t handle conflict well, so I would probably just ignore a troll if I ever had one.
July 30th, 2008 at 8:40 am
geez, I’m scared… If I ever decide to go compulsive on you, remind me to do it while I am traveling cross country with someone else’s laptop. I’ll wear a disguise too… just in case….
July 30th, 2008 at 8:51 am
woohoo go snoskred you did awesome!
Out the nasty cow I say
July 30th, 2008 at 9:07 am
I wonder if our various trolls all recently attended a troll convention that energised them all this past week to be causing shite all over the internets.
July 30th, 2008 at 9:09 am
There’s some seriously sick assholes out there. Geez Louise, he/she/it spent how long perusing the archives? That’s rubber room material.
July 30th, 2008 at 9:54 am
I’m pretty sure that if you take the troll’s email address and sign it up for every single inappropriate spam email website thingy you can it would be some sweet revenge. I don’t think ignoring someone in this situation is the right thing to do. You’re right — mess with me, easy to ignore. Mess with my kids and you get the mama bear paw across the face. With big meaty claws. Karma will take care of most of it, but, just in case, I’d do something diabolical and untraceable. Let me know if you need help!
July 30th, 2008 at 12:40 pm
I think you should be the bigger person and just ignore Concerned. Maybe the he/she had a rough childhood. Show some compassion, k?
Who the hell am I kidding?
C’mon, who is Concerned? Out Concerned, Out The Troll!!! Do it! DO IT!!!!
July 30th, 2008 at 1:20 pm
Sarah: oooh violence. Dude, I like you!
Mr Lady: But where is the fun in that? She needs to squirm. Oh and others that think that it may be them. They can squirm too.
Ms Fifikins: Awesome. Can I give you my mothers address?
cajunvegan: Will keep you updated my evil lovely.
Latte Mommy: But if I said that I would do nothing, then they think they are OK. Will I? Won’t I? Hmmmm… squirmage.
Jennifer A: I am thinking that you are OK babe. Takes A LOT to get me like this.
Maria: All in good time my lovely..
Auds: Oh and peeing in fear. That is teh awesome too!
Lightening: Normally that is what I do. This one? Not so much.
AFF: Not that I am aware of? Stoopid heads. Like how they are trying to stop us from calling the ‘fairy penguin’ a fairy. Apparently they are ‘little’ penguins. Stoopid heads.
Anja: You are one scary biatch. I am looking forward to finding out how your little project goes.
Sunshine: That would be awesome babe. But alas, no.
Jayne: Girl, I totally have visions of the pigs in Hannibal or was it Silence of the Lambs…
ohmommy: Yeah, I did delete most of them. And the other trolls. But girl, this one just pissed me off. Won’t do it again I promise. K?
Amanda: This chick and I have a history. A history of me being more freaking awesome.
A Whole Lot of Nothing: Oooooh, I would love to know what our friend could actually do…
Jen: Girl, that is what I will do from now on.
Huckdoll: Thanks babe. Is all good now.
Widdle Shamrock: Let this be a lesson to everyone. My peeps are awesome in their viciousness.
Ian: You totally read my mind. Or maybe not…
Bettina: Wanna teach me how to call down meteors? Cause I totally want to use that on a few other people too.
ZoeyJane: I loves me some North Americans. Its the sexy accents
Kylie: I have a severe case of cat playing with a mouse right now. But the mouse is mangy and ugly.
Robin: Fabulous idea!
Fee: Yes she does. All in good time my pretty. All in good time.
Goaldeebug: I love the way your mind works.
Veronica: Wanna email the comment to me. I like to play with trolls…
River: Will never leave you out of the loop my lovely.
Marilyn: What and give her MORE attention? In her twisted mind it would just be hits on her blog.
Kitty: Girl, I am thinking so.
Lilacspecs: You are scary…
Justin: Dude, you have some awesome skillz there.
Snoskred: Anyone that has known her for longer than five minutes would have worked out she is all about herself. Don’t think there is any worry of anyone thinking her ‘nice’.
Dingo: Methinks she would fall flat on her face.
lceel: Noted. Will let you know.
Kath: And where is MY drink? You can buy me a latte.
Moo: Good point babe. This is the last you will hear about it. Perhaps
Diva: Oh yeah, it has been all about the Dra-mah here at Chez Magneto Bold!
Dingo: Yes it is. And yes I did. But not recently.
Magpie: Lets hope hey? And hopefully she is broken just a little…
Maggie: Means a lot coming from you oh awesome one. I mean, getting bloggers tweeting that you posted? That is some serious lovin’ there.
Kim: Thanks Kim and welcome. I always love new biatches… biatches being a good thing…
VE: Dude. I love you. The end.
Sensitiva: Back atcha babe!
Sarah: I know. I know. But this one… I mean HOW could I NOT belittle that kinda stupidity?
Jenty: Girl, I have a lot of people wandering around in my archives. It is cool. As long as they pop their heads out and say hello once in a while. I think it was more a case of trying to steal content to be honest.
Stimey: You wouldn’t know how to babe. You are too fabulous.
Kel: I love that you read my archives and come back to read the comments. I have the funniest, most wonderful commentors EVER. I even re-read the comments to get a good laugh.
Ange: You go compulsive just give me a heads up and I will point you to my fav posts.
Joyce: Maybe. Perhaps…
Bettina: I KNOW! I have seen so much of it since I posted mine!
Anja: Sounds like she didn’t sleep. Wonder if she wore a space nappy?
Melanie: Will do!
Mrs Schmitty: For a second there I thought you had lost your mind. Phew!
July 30th, 2008 at 2:26 pm
Remind me never to make you hate me.
You scary.
July 30th, 2008 at 3:01 pm
What I would do….probably ignore them and privately e-mail my rage to all my friends. What I would WANT to do would be different, and the suggestions you’ve gotten pretty much cover it.
What I want YOU to do….tell me who it is.
July 30th, 2008 at 3:02 pm
the troll.
Prelude - i’m fucking grateful my BA finished before the scurge of post modernism swept through academia.
Interjection - fuck - started thinking about the word ‘prelude’ for a while and forgot the point of the prelude.
Reflection - can’t help ponder if that was a post modern experience right there? Still, how would I know, having missed a proper POMO education? Fuck life is tricky sometimes.
Questions for Pondering - Ah yes…(pulling m’shit together briefly)…Kelley - might one ask why is your troll trolling?
1.Is your troll genuinely ‘concerned’ about the welfare of your family?
2.Or is your troll trolling for the drama - maybe there’s no Neighbours on the troll’s TV?
3. Or is your troll threatened by your most very awesomeness, generally a frustrated and angry wee person, perhaps with some ‘issues’ and specifically angry and frustrated with some aspect of your multifareous blog offerings - how you have magnificent shoes, the internet gab gift, a devoted following, coffee beans on your blog etc?
Unfortunately if your troll is trolling for the drama (see 2 above) then we are all pawns in the troll’s game. Still atleast we all get a bit more drama, and you know who we are rootin’ for (US style rootin’ - trying to keep things a bit family friendly).
BUT if your troll is genuinely concerned (see 1 above)(and here’s where it all comes together)maybe they have missed the post modern celebration that is magnetoboldtoo? Maybe they take you a tad literally? Let us also remember the possibility of cultural differences? Is this troll an Aussie? Because the Aussie communication style of saying the opposite of what you mean, to demonstrate the ludicrous nature of that scenario doesn’t seem to cross the Pacific.
For eg “yeah mate, that innocent looking coat hanger is actually an exploding coat hanger, and could blow up this entire airport, if I raise my eyebrows simultaneously.” might land you in jail.
And if it’s option number 3, and your troll is a bit of a crazy, then hmmm, surely you are famous enough that we could bring in Dr Phil on this one? A guest blogger or similar?
Perhaps that’s enough for one day?
July 31st, 2008 at 6:38 pm
Tiff: I could never hate you. You too cute.
Lunasea: I will deal with it my lovely. In my own little way Bwaaaaa haaaaa haaaaaaa!
Jodieodie: Dr Phil? Duuuude. No!
July 31st, 2008 at 9:47 pm
People are disgusting.
Let her squirm. Then out her. And we’ll all pay a visit.
Get a life, lady. I think it’s totally hilarous that it was so easy to track you. Hehehe. Stupid-head.
July 31st, 2008 at 11:05 pm
Wow, CSI IRL. How awesome!
On a more serious note, I think this is horrible that this happened to you…it’s scary, but I suppose a reality of being such a blogging superstar.
I’d say do something, uh, interesting with a stiletto…
August 2nd, 2008 at 8:09 am
Oh boo hoo. Scary blogger knows what site logs are. Scary blogger make scary post on scary blog.
I don’t see what point you’re trying to make here.
August 2nd, 2008 at 3:01 pm
Max - the point of this post is to let “concerned” know that if you have something to say about someone, have the BALLS to put your name to it, otherwise someone like me is going to put your name to it for you.
Just like you came here and made your sarcastic comment, and now people know what kind of person you really are, and once they read that they’re not likely to want to have much to do with you in the future.
Get it now?
August 3rd, 2008 at 1:08 am
Oh, folks, NO, NO, NO! Really, REALLY make it hurt….I can take her teaching license away, PERMANENTLY…out her…..
August 3rd, 2008 at 5:36 am
I too am a new fan & cannot believe how FUGLY people can be! I have been stalking all of you wonderful mothers since BlogHer & think you are ALL FABULOUS!
Anyway in my stalking I came across this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SmVPOLImp-U
And just thought you might like it!
In kind of a twisted way…
XOXO
~M
August 4th, 2008 at 7:04 pm
Oh wow… Out her! Snos said on her blog that she reckons “Concerned” should fess up on her own blog … now I REALLY want to know who it is!
It sucks that you got that sort of mail … but go you for standing up for yourself. I can’t believe people actually think they are anonymous on the internet!
See what I miss when I go away for a week?
August 5th, 2008 at 9:42 am
I’d find a really good hacker who could find out their password.
Then I’d go to an internet cafe thingy (it would be worth the expense) and hack their blog and fill it up with kiddy porn.
Then I’d give the police an anonymous tipoff (from a phone booth, wearing gloves and using a voice altering device).
Then I’d make sure that my friends at the dept of corrections put them in a cell with “Butt-fucker Bubba” for the term of their natural life.
August 5th, 2008 at 9:56 am
of course, you know that I can’t actually do ANY of those things…..
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