‘Drop in’ at your peril
She is walking up the driveway.
I catch a glimpse too late. She sees me and waves.
Fuck.
Have spent the day playing with Boo, chatting on Plurk and just general pottering around the house.
The loungeroom is full of toys and a couple of blankets that Boo and I used as cushioning after a mad tickle wrestle. The floors need mopping and remnants of a cooking experiment that went disastrously wrong, but was mad fun, is strewn all over the kitchen.
My hair in a half bun and no makeup. A day spent just being with my boy.
And she drops in. Unannounced.
I hate the ‘drop in’. I always call beforehand and check if visiting is convenient. Everyone ELSE I know knows this and follows suit, cause they like, know how much I hate the drop in.
But this chick? She constantly does it. And then will make snide remarks about my house, or my appearance or offers to do the dishes or pull weeds in a snide way like ‘It’s OK, I will do it, it is not that hard you know’.
Fucker.
I think she does it to mess with my head. Or she is just that fucking stupid. Or both. Can’t she see the look on my face? Has she no idea that me saying ‘oh, I was just about to go out’ and there is no fucking car in the driveway that I am trying to blow her off?
It is not like I am going to walk anywhere is it?
So she comes in. Sits down. Her child runs riot and pulls every fucking toy out of every single toy box. At least he didn’t break anything this time. But he stunk the house out with his farting. And the kid is 6, he should know better.
She tells me how to run my house. How to cook. How I should be doing more exercise and perhaps go on a diet, for your health Kelley... Fucker is twice my size and ten years older. Pot meet Kettle.
Fucker.
She used to be my neighbour. Two years ago. I would find her son in our backyard playing at 6am, or she would ‘pop in’ at 10pm, or I would find her waving at me from her yard through my kitchen window. Apparently acknowledgement was a freaking invitation to ‘drop in’ for a couple of hours during Boo’s therapy time.
Or while I was showering.
Or when I was serving up dinner. Bitch would just help herself from my place.
I kid you not.
So when we moved I thought we were safe. And we were for a while. But now it is like she has fucking radar for the days where I have done bugger all around the house, kids have trashed the place while I am at work and I am in the mood to say ‘fuck it all, lets play Boo!’.
Then she waddles up the driveway. Just to make me feel like shit and boost her own sad little ego.
You know I have only been inside her house once. And that was after being invited in. Cause I am awesome and thoughtful and polite and shit.
But I did have a little win moment.
She said ‘bitch’.
And you know how Boo has that little habit of saying ‘Ass’ when someone says ‘bitch’? Well today he bumped it up a notch.
He said ‘You are such an arsehole’
And I nearly bust a lung trying to stifle the gaffaws.
She was all ‘You really shouldn’t let him get away with language like that you know!’ while her little bastard was pulling apart my house and polluting the air with his half digested lunch.
As soon as the bint hauled her fat arse out my door I jumped on Plurk
and then made myself a latte.
Fucker.
So are you a drop inner? Or do you feel the same way as me and wanna go postal on their arses and then bury the evidence in your weed infested garden?
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60 Responses to “‘Drop in’ at your peril”
July 11th, 2008 at 8:23 am
Ye gods!
I would seriously have no patience with someone like that in *my* house.
No, I never drop in. I never go anywhere to drop in. And if I ever do have to go to someone’s house, I make damn sure that I’m welcome, and don’t arrive a minute before I’m supposed to.
As an aside, if you do go postal, bury her under the lawn. Blood and bonemeal is very high in nitrogen, which grass loves.
July 11th, 2008 at 8:28 am
I NEVER drop in. Partially because I have no one to drop in on but also because most of my friends would kill me!
I wouldn’t mind a drop in occasionally as long as they weren’t your former neighbor and her stink ass kid!
July 11th, 2008 at 8:38 am
I am most definitely NOT a dropper-inner. J on the other hand, is happy to invite himself in without invitation. He doesn’t get it when I say we shouldn’t go to someone’s house without being unannounced! I hate it!
Also don’t like it when people come around here without some warning - like more than 20 freakin minutes so that if I’m a state and the house is a disaster at least I can do my hair n makeup and chuck the waste behind a closed door!
I feel yr pain!
July 11th, 2008 at 9:03 am
I could never just drop in on a friend. I would think of what it would be like to me - My darling (not) boyfriend did it to me on the weekend, just invited a friend over without telling me.
I’ve started just dropping in at my Mum’s and Dad’s places - but I still call to see if they’re home.
Regardless of all of that - what a bitch! Her terror kid just runs around and she’s telling you how to live your life? She doesn’t have the right! Semi-okay (still not) if she’s your family but still, eviction of this woman is needed
July 11th, 2008 at 9:11 am
no. no. no.
not acceptable. Boo knows. these people are such arseholes.
you are entitled to be blunt. offensive, even. pancreas punching is totally reasonable.
maybe you could have emo door-biatches stationed at the front gate, doing the ‘you can’t come in, we’re full up/you’re not dressed appropriately/ you’re too drunk’ thing, whist sniggering behind their black-nailed fingers at the losers NOT getting into Chez Awesome, ever.
July 11th, 2008 at 9:39 am
Not okay unless you have an inner sanctum reciprocal agreement.
I think you need to sit her down and say something super passive, like: I’m worried about you. I’ve noticed you like to drop in intrusively, and that is usually a sign that you have a lousy marriage with not enough intimacy. Do you think your husband is cheating on you? It might be because your breath is getting kind of old-meaty. Do you think it’s your gums? I read on-line about kids like yours, you know, and how it might be all the food coloring in his diet. Do you might if I tell him about that?
Or, pancreas punch.
July 11th, 2008 at 9:44 am
I hate drop ins with a vengeance!
I ALWAYS call and see if my friends are available for a cuppa! Grrrrr
Next time, just tell her “I’m sorry, it’s not a good time” and close the door on her.
July 11th, 2008 at 9:46 am
I guess that I have a couple of friends who I just “drop in” on and they will just “drop in” on me, but our houses are both disgusting messes. “See, I’m not the only one with a pig sty for a home”.
There are unwritten rules for dropping in though:
1. Thou shalt not leave the other persons house messier than it was when you arrived.
2. Thou shalt make your own coffee.
3. Thou shalt discipline thine own children and teach them to respect other people and their things.
4. Thou shalt offer to take the visited persons kids home with you if the other person appears to be having a bad day and is in need of sleep, alcohol or both.
4. If dropping in with husbands in tow, thou shalt bring beer.
5. Thou shalt be free to say “This isn’t a good time” and the visitor will respect that, leave the chocolate, possibly take the kids and go home.
July 11th, 2008 at 9:57 am
Ooooh I hate the drop in - I will not answer the door, or say ‘baby in the bath’ or have my mobile dial my land line to excuse myself. Or say I was just in the middle of something.
However I hate passive aggressive types more than anything. They.have.no.idea!
In unity.
July 11th, 2008 at 10:19 am
What? You were polite? Those people don’t understand polite. channel your online persona. Really.
July 11th, 2008 at 10:32 am
My father-in-law’s girlfriend is like that. Oh, and she is the most disguisting, inappropriate person to walk the face of the earth. The last time she “dropped” by, she was waiting outside my house for me to come home from work. At 6 p.m., I walk into my house with two screaming, hungry, wet babies. One was 16 months old, and the other almost 3 months. And she wants to chat and give the kids presents, and she couldn’t understand why I needed her to leave so I could feed the babies.
People like that bug the crap out of me! I can so relate to your experience.
July 11th, 2008 at 10:33 am
Wonders why we find it so hard to say : ” I don’t like you. Fuck off and don’t come back.” ’cause we’re the nice ones, I guess. We need to practice in front of the mirror.
July 11th, 2008 at 11:14 am
I used to have 2 friends where I lived last…my 2 closest girl friends, one was a drop in and I the same to her, another was a drop in at a specified time each week and other than that a quick phone call first…but it was open house between the three of us! There was another person who tried to drop in every day to use the pool- was so bad I said one day oh we wont be home till after 5..hoping she wouldnt come over…and she turned up at 5 in her bathers!!!GRRRR!!!!
Here though I hate drop ins….have to have an invite….otherwise they just want coffee lol and I dont want to do that!
July 11th, 2008 at 11:20 am
Just lock the front door and don’t answer it. Who cares if she can hear or see you?
Or, if you don’t want to be quite that blantant, slip a sign in the window saying you are contagious, that your house is a quarantine zone and smile at her sweetly as you point to it through the window before running off to make yourself another latte.
July 11th, 2008 at 11:32 am
i don’t drop in on ANYONE. though i don’t go postal if it happens to me. then again, no one drops in on me.
July 11th, 2008 at 11:33 am
As you know
I loves the drop in.
Ready made - home delivery socialising - with the added advantage that I don’t have to dress up.
Also, I reserve the right to be busy and have a messy house.
But. I don’t like the drop in when someone says “oh by the way I have my dog in the car - are you okay if I let him in/put him in your backyard.
No. I am not okay with that.
July 11th, 2008 at 12:16 pm
Generally? I don’t mind it it - as long as it’s at a reasonable time of day. If it isn’t, I won’t let you in. If you’re gonna judge me on what you find when you drop in unannounced - I could NOT care less because YOU are the one that’s a shallow fool, not me.
I will however, call other people first. I have a GF though, where we pretty much have open house, ‘cos neither of us care what we find each other looking like, doing, or whatever.
Seriously, why care what people think?
July 11th, 2008 at 12:21 pm
From the sounds of the conversation, you seemed like you were extremely polite. Maybe if you were more like your blogger self, she would run screaming down the driveway, never to drop in again…
July 11th, 2008 at 12:33 pm
Oh dear God I am not a dropper inner. And I can not stand people that are. I am usually in my sweats, as to not ruin my nice clothes, all day long and my house is a mess. I hate suprises. YUCK!
July 11th, 2008 at 12:34 pm
I never drop in. That’s over the top rude. Hon, it’s time to be roaring bitch woman.
July 11th, 2008 at 1:10 pm
I would never drop in on someone. I’m always a caller/msner/texter and always ask the other person when’s a good time FOR THEM. If someone dropped in on me, and then behaved like that, I would honestly tell them to leave my house if they couldn’t show some effing respect.
July 11th, 2008 at 1:35 pm
I HATE the drop in. In fact, I need someone to call, like, the day before if they want to come by.
July 11th, 2008 at 1:54 pm
I try not to talk to my neighbors or any other real-life people, so I don’t have to worry about drop-ins. It’s worked out great!
July 11th, 2008 at 1:56 pm
Drop-ins screw with our routine and with FB so I made it plain people had to call waaaaay ahead…you know, like a decade before they’re gonna plump their arse on my doorstep.
At least it stopped the
vile,skanky, dog’s breath, crumbly bits in the corner of dogs eyesin laws from beaming up from Hell to drop gossip turds about their latest illness/sexual position/lack of beer in the fridge/crap.July 11th, 2008 at 2:06 pm
I am not a dropper-inner nor do I like having drop-ins.
Obviously this woman doesn’t know how to be respectful and in my book that means she doesn’t deserve respect. I second what Deb on the Rocks suggests! Fuck with her.
And for what it’s worth, it sounds like you actually live in your house. The rest of your day sounded like a blast!
July 11th, 2008 at 2:10 pm
I absolutely HATE the drop-inners. NEVER, EVER do it myself.
Hubby is opposite, tho. He absolutely LOVES company anytime, announced or not. And he would be a drop-inner if it wasn’t for me. I need at least a weeks notice, then, I spend the whole time dreading every second of it.
Anti-social, much????
(my disclaimer: I do have one friend who would happily have a mutual drop-in agreement with me, but I just can’t bring myself to do it, and she just doesn’t :p)
July 11th, 2008 at 2:16 pm
I once had a friend go OFF big time about how she demanded that even her flatmate should call before she got home so she wasn’t caught unawares - and guess who was the biggest offender of it herself?
I had a programming assignment (and if you programme, you know how your language skills get stuffed when talking computer) and she decided to pop on by once and could not understand how rude I was…
July 11th, 2008 at 2:27 pm
There has to be three days warning, and a request signed in the blood of their first-born, in fucking triplicate before anyone gets through my front door. I do not want people dropping in unannounced when I’m knocking the horns off the goat for a sacrifice. It’s just farkin’ rude, I tells ya.
Next time the fat sack of crap darkens your doorstep, scratch your crotch and say,
“By the way, have you ever had crabs? And do you know anything about the super mega jumping variety?”
If the farkin’ bitch dares enter after that, wipe out the coffee cup you will offer her with one of Boo’s blankets. Then get that pondering look on your face and ask “Boo, is this clean or have you used it to wipe your bottom?”
Then shrug and say “what the hey, it will do”
Then stare at the skank when she tries to sip that caffeine.
Even better, take a picture and put it here for us all to laugh at. You have to entertain your stalkers.
July 11th, 2008 at 2:41 pm
“So when we moved I thought we were safe”
Oh, man!!! Hahahaha…that IS bad.
I’m so happy I live in a condo where people have to ring in. That said, we live on the ground floor and I’ve had my fair share of patio jumpers.
Usually Baby Daddy’s friends and 10 times out of 10 I’m just out of the shower, braless, the kids are chocolate smeared while I Plurk away or something else equally embarrassing.
I hate them. Fuckers.
July 11th, 2008 at 4:57 pm
I do not mind people dropping in as long as they know that my house is rarely immaculate (actually it usually is for about 5 minutes every morning) because I have 3 children under the age of 6, and unlike most of the people I know I AM THE ONLY HOUSEKEEPER.
Most people who do drop in on me never seem to be critical, but there was one like yours. She just moved. It’s awesome.
July 11th, 2008 at 5:01 pm
I’m not a dropper-in’er and I don’t like dropper-in’ers. There are some days I don’t get out of my jammies so I don’t want people to come over and see me in my cupcake jammies with no bra on…*snort*
July 11th, 2008 at 6:20 pm
Surely you have the ultimate weapon in your hands? Can you not drop in on her just before Boo is about to ‘produce’ and forget to check the loo after he’s been?
Mean? Moi?
July 11th, 2008 at 6:28 pm
I am not a drop-inner, nor do I encourage them. In fact, I don’t even invite people over, because my house is a disgrace, and I simply can’t be bothered. My friends know and respect this. If something is going on, it’s at their place and they know it! I am generous with wine and nibbles, and I clean up after myself, so it’s all good!
July 11th, 2008 at 6:29 pm
I’m with you, Kelley, I hate drop-ins. At the moment even phone calls are too much. I want people to leave me alone. I will let them know when I want company and it might not be for a while.
July 11th, 2008 at 6:48 pm
I never drop in on anyone. But it might be something to do with most of my best friends living in other cities. If Fifikins lived here I would definitely drop in.
July 11th, 2008 at 7:59 pm
I drop in on my favourite aunt, but nobody else. And it drives me mad when people (favourite aunt excepted) drop in on me/my mum. Especially when they then look around with their noses in the air.
Unless they are bringing me baked goods, then they can do what the hell they like as long as I get some of said goods.
July 11th, 2008 at 8:28 pm
I loathe drop inners. The Bloke adores it when people just call in… It is difficult to balance. But hey, *my* friends call in advance. His friends go straight to the shed. Except when his friends call in with their kids…
There is something MUCH worse than the Drop In. That would be the BARGE In. MiL has mastered the art of not only dropping in, but barging straight in the front door. Her best ever effort involved not even knocking, straight into the house - she didn’t think I was home…
1. I drive a very large, very RED car.
2. It was in the driveway.
3. The lights and TV were on
Scared the crappers out of me, she did. And why? So she could tell me they were leaving their car at ours for a few hours.
(She could have sent me a text. Or assumed I’d GUESS!)
They regularly call in “for a widdle” on the way home.
She likes to drop in at 3pm. Just as I have to leave to pick up the kid from school. She KNOWS I have to do school pick up.
She does only have 1/4 of a brain cell, though.
July 11th, 2008 at 8:43 pm
Bleh, people like that are worse than fingernails on a blackboard. Next time just tell her “I’m not home today” and shut the door in her face. Then lock it.
July 11th, 2008 at 8:48 pm
I HATE drop-ins. I always call first. My BIL & SIL, THANK GOD no relation to me, drop in CONSTANTLY with my nieces. And though I always enjoy seeing my nieces (the BIL & SIL not so much), it’s always 5 minutes until my kid’s bedtime or before dinner. They get my kid’s wound up or I’m feeding the arseholes AGAIN.
July 11th, 2008 at 9:56 pm
I hope the bitch reads your blog.
July 11th, 2008 at 10:18 pm
I don’t like friends. We used to live in another city, and got to the stage where we didn’t answer the phone or the door. So we moved, and have avoided befriending anyone since.
Life is peaceful!
July 11th, 2008 at 10:45 pm
I rarely drop in and I am so glad I don’t have drop in friends they all live too far away …
We have rarely had neighbours and the one we have now at the front I have maybe seen her in total 4-5 times this whole year.
I at least have an excuse (actually two or three if I count the teen) why the house is messy now if anyone does.
July 11th, 2008 at 11:43 pm
The next time she ‘drops in’, grab the electric razor, drop your drawers and say, “Good, I’m glad you’re here. You can help me mow the lawn.”
July 11th, 2008 at 11:57 pm
I hope she reads this….
July 12th, 2008 at 12:31 am
I would never dream of dropping in on anyone, and I have been known to pretend I’m not home when the doorbell rings. We could be great friends. ;^)
July 12th, 2008 at 1:33 am
That is just wrong to the millionth degree..I would never drop in and wouldn’t accept a drop in. I would talk to the person outside then excuse myself and go in…that is just stoopid.
July 12th, 2008 at 5:09 am
i am so fucking glad i found you! i hate HATE the drop-in…..it doesn’t go over well where i live here in the big old mountains….
July 12th, 2008 at 8:03 am
I HATE the drop in. Drop inners should die.
On an unrelated note: I haven’t commented in eons because my porn blocker at work won’t let me. WTF?
July 12th, 2008 at 8:04 am
And your blocker just flagged me for using the word P0rn. Ba ha ha ha ha ha! But…apparently f@cker is ok.
July 12th, 2008 at 11:36 am
I would never drop-in, and I don’t like it when people do it. That woman is an arsehole! I’d leave the door closed and locked. And if she knocks, say “we’re not home!”
July 12th, 2008 at 12:27 pm
Oh, no way. Drop in?!? Not in a million years. But I hear Aussie Missy is bringing you to my neighborhood and I’m going to lick you.
July 12th, 2008 at 3:24 pm
I so hear you Kel,
I want to be a able to be dropped in on woman. I want to have the better homes and gardens house and lawn with goodies in the oven just ready to come out incase someone decides to drop in HAH this is not me … except in some alternate reality. I wouldnt mind droppers inerers if i was perfect but I am not….
about 3 weeks ago I was in trackies with a broom heaving out all the crap from under the little kids bed (some was green and growing) and a knock on the door.. oh we are mr and mrs xxxx friends of ur dad’s. He said he was sure u wouldnt mind if we parked out motor home in ur driveway for a few days…. GRRRRRR I dont even remember these people. (Yes i knew the existed) and then I got a lovely letter left after they left… darling we dont want to be critical BUT…. and left me the idiots guide to housekeeping….
So I feel ur pain….
and there are very few people that I would drop in unannounced.
July 12th, 2008 at 6:08 pm
No - NEVER!!
I never just ‘drop in’ and hate it when people drop in here unannounced (especially when they bring their own lunch and their kids put greasy fingers all over everything)- aside from my brother who wouldn’t notice if the place looked like the tip!!
They don’t tend to do it much these days - I tell people I’m hardly home or often have to take Z17 to work - we’re a bit out of town so they usually msg me first!
I had a ‘friend’ like the one you describe - I cut her off years ago - always putting me down to feed her own ego - and her kid……no thanks - not a kid I’d want influencing mine for long - or at all!
Put a note on the door - something about raging gastro would work!!
G
xx
July 12th, 2008 at 7:00 pm
That would peeve me more than just a widdle !!!!
Just tell her you have 2 words to say and it involves sex and travel.
July 13th, 2008 at 1:32 am
I never, never drop in on people. It’s just wrong. In fact, maybe I’m a bit paranoid about it all, because even when I phone people I say, “I’m not catching you at a bad time, am I?”. And that’s just for a phone call!
July 13th, 2008 at 10:50 am
I don’t do the drop in stuff and no one drops in…you know being a shut in and all.
July 14th, 2008 at 12:24 am
Tell her fat ass where to stick it Kelley! That is beyond rude and you should NOT allow yourself to be treated that way! Next time you see her, TELL HER you don’t have time for a visit, sorry and SHUT THE DOOR…DON’T LET HER IN…DON’T CHAT…WALK AWAY.
Sounds to me as if it wouldn’t be much of a ‘friend’ (and I say that loosely) to lose.
If that doesn’t work, tell her to bugger off (that is the way you say it down under, right?)
Oh, BTW…currently in San Francisco and thinking of you for the Take her to Blogher thingy!
July 14th, 2008 at 8:25 am
Holy fuck! I’d murder the cow.
That said, if I lived by you, I would totally drop in unannounced just to see your eyes pop out of your head.
But I’d bring booze and ice cream so all would be forgiven, right?
Heh.
July 15th, 2008 at 1:59 pm
You’re obviously a far nicer person than I am - I would have been all “Go the hell away, you stupid biotch and take your destructive-ass child away.” I’ve got no effing patience for people.
July 16th, 2008 at 8:53 pm
I don’t do the drop in, nor do I apreciate when it is done to me. But oh, wait, I’m in Belgium where I have no friends…so that hasn’t been an issue the past 7 months or so. Except CB’s parents and I have to be nice to them.
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