Getting back in the saddle
I am totally out of practice.
For the first six months of this blog I posted every single freaking day.
Sat down, brain dumped and hit publish.
Now I sit here thinking and fretting and wondering if what I have to say is good enough. Will people read it, will my lovelies like what I have to say.
Will someone snort some sort of substance out their nose or share my pain.
The number of subscribers intimidates me. The quality of posts I read makes me feel inadequate or make me shake my head in wonder. Fifty comments on a shopping list? Like seriously? Fuck me dead.
So I am asking you for a little help to get back in the saddle. To ride this bloggy thing like a prostitute with a crack habit.
Next week the kids start school holidays. So like the wonderful caring engaged mother that I am, I will post every day next week. I mean, shit, I will be here with them. Breathing the same air and stuff. What more do the little bastards want? I have plenty of ‘nothing to eat’ in the pantry and tons of ‘I’m bored there is nothing to dooooooooo’ electronic gadget, toys and games lying around the place. And there is the breathing the same air thing…
So I am thinking I will do one of those memey carnival link-to-the-person-that-thought-a-cute-little-name-up things each day. You know like WTF Wednesday or Fuck-me-dead-who-thinks-of-this-shit-Friday or whatevz.
This is where you come in, help me. I need one of these things for every day next week.
And someone to explain the rules to me like I am a child. Use little words. All my big words have been used up intimidating arsehats that have pissed me off this week.
Ta. Thanks. Smootches.
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34 Responses to “Getting back in the saddle”
June 24th, 2008 at 10:42 pm
Hi Kel,
I am not going to comment about saddles and whose I would like to be riding at the moment, it would only end in tears
Cheers, Andrew
June 24th, 2008 at 11:18 pm
Saddle? Riding boots and a whip. Hmmm.
Please don’t do that memey stuff unless you actually are really interested in it.
I’d prefer to read one post in a month about your real shit stained walls than 7 in a week about your favourite fucking colour.
Keep it real, bitch.
Or not, whatever.
June 24th, 2008 at 11:27 pm
I gots nuffin for ya but I will sit idly waiting for your brain spew, snort. I do love to snort.
June 24th, 2008 at 11:28 pm
Riding? Did someone mention riding? And WHIPS? Fuck me DEAD!!! Don’t stop NOW!!!!
June 24th, 2008 at 11:34 pm
Yeah, I don’t participate in anything other than Wordless Wednesday and the very occasional thing that I get annoyingly pinged with but feel some sort of weird loyalty to these people that I’ve never met and live halfway across the world from.
Anyway, I will read whatever you write, ’cause I think you’re hilarious. And if you do memes and tag me, I’ll totally do them:).
June 24th, 2008 at 11:39 pm
You are freaking yourself out.. I have to tell you I have totally given up on the blogs of “the writers”…they don’t comment on my blog, it seems like they are only concerned about writing their next post. That is boring as shit..don’t think so highly of yourself..get back down her and spit shit out of your mouth with the rest of us. (not a personal attack..I’m on a roll here)
Many people do the hiku friday thing and wordless wednesday w/ pictures. My friend Bri does Naked Mondays and opens up about herself once a week.
If it’s that much work screw it.. Have Fun!!!
June 25th, 2008 at 12:04 am
Well, I’ll be doing a meme this week, so I’ll tag you for that. It’s super easy, so you won’t have to worry about expending brain energy to complete it.
But that’s about all I can help you with. Although I understand all the sudden PRESSURE to PERFORM.
June 25th, 2008 at 12:10 am
The only one I do is haiku Friday because I’m usually completely brain dead and the week of hangovers starts to get to me.
Write your post in a haiku.
5 syllables in the first line
7 in the second
5 again in the third.
Grab the image and link to http://amommystory.blogspot.com.
Go to that site and add your name and URL to the Linky Love thing.
As soon as I get that done, I pour a vodka and limeade to celebrate the weekend.
June 25th, 2008 at 2:11 am
I’m confused, but happy to smile and nod. Oh - and my blog sucks but hell … . everybody and their mother reads it now. So - well - I see no reason to improve.
June 25th, 2008 at 3:17 am
“fuck me dead”, like me watching too much Gordon Ramsey? That man has a lot to answer for. That phrase pops out of my mouth at the worst times. I blame it all on Gordon!
As for the blogging, don’t worry so much. Your shit cracks me up. The fact you are a fellow Aussie? Awesomeness!
June 25th, 2008 at 4:26 am
Music Mondays at Soccer Mom in Denial
Wordless Wednesday at wordlesswednesday.com
Flashback Friday at Cablegirl’s blog, 42
Singular Saturday at Something to Say About Life in the Netherlands
There, now you only need 3 days. I know there’s a tickle me Tuesday or some shit, but I’ve never done that one although if you Google it I’m sure it’ll come up. So 2, I got you down to 2 days.
Where’s my cookie, dammit!
June 25th, 2008 at 6:32 am
i totally vote for the creation of ASSHAT Mondays. Cuz you know, Monday always starts off with a case of them, and it would be brilliant to broadcast some twit who’d gotten on your last nerve.
June 25th, 2008 at 8:17 am
Hot Hunk Thursday - sexy men, naked or not your choice.
Started with WiddleShamrock - http://widdleshamrock.wordpress.com/hot-hunk-thursday/
June 25th, 2008 at 8:31 am
Andrew: And I will not comment on your comment, lest I make you cry…
BoxBoy: But do you ACTUALLY think I will do them the way they were intended? I mean really…
Girl: And I do love to hear you snort. Totally makes my day.
lceel: *snigger* I will always be your dirty little Aussie.
Kylie: Oh I didn’t mean those tag me things, I meant the everyone-links-to-some-chick-who-started-some-theme thing. Will have a look around the internets, I found Works for Me Wednesday. I could totally fuck that one up!
Mp: Naked Mondays… hmmm interesting…
Moo: NOOOOOOO! Don’t tag me babe! Those things make my head hurt.
Ree: I love you. You know me so well. Instructions and links and everything. I wonder if I could set a record for the most expletive filled Haiku?
Tranny Head: Smile and nod? Sounds like me when dealing with arsehats and my husband.
Millicent: Gordon says it? Fuck me dead that is fucking awesome! I love that fucker…
Lilacspecs: I am making cookies today, will eat a couple in your honour.
Zoeyjane: *wry smile* hmmmmm, you in my head biatch?
Marita: *slaps head* But of course!!!!!
June 25th, 2008 at 10:35 am
I’ll expect you over at my place for screw up tuesday then shall I?
It’s simple enough. You post about stuff you fucked up on your blog, leave me a comment and I’ll shall add you a link on our honour roll.
Of course we all know that you don’t fuck up, so any of MPS, Damn Emos or anyone elses will do
June 25th, 2008 at 11:14 am
Fuck-me-dead-who-thinks-of-this-shit-Friday.
Hehe.
June 25th, 2008 at 11:33 am
I don’t really do any of those What-The-Fuck-Day-Is-It-Because-I-Have-To-Particpate-In-Some-Fucking-Day-Of-The-Week-Thing, things. Mainly cos I have no idea what day it is.
‘Cos that’s how I roll.
Word. Whatever the fuck THAT means.
And yeah, I totally get the panic over the what to write thing, even though I have eleventy thousand less subscribers than you.
June 25th, 2008 at 12:03 pm
You’re gonna breathe the same air?
Has Boo stopped his atomic rectal explosions or will the young mother be modelling the latest fashion accessory of a gas mask for a fortnight?
BTW meant to mention digestive enzymes from health food store for Boo ages ago but forgot, might help his atomic explosions
June 25th, 2008 at 12:42 pm
Hell, woman! I can’t seem to manage one post / week, but, by gosh! I’m here, every day checkin’ and readin’ you. You crack me up! Yeah, put your own twist on those things if ya want, but please, please, keep bein’ you!!! I (we) don’t care if it’s spotty and it certainly doesn’t have to have a theme-meme-cream-bling what-the-fuck-ever to it - JUST WRITE!!! please?!!!
I think I’m finally getting back to a somewhat normal (whatevs) live “post-move”, so I can comment more regularly??? Anyway - I’ll be here!!!
:-*
June 25th, 2008 at 12:50 pm
The only one I do is ‘Dead Celebrity Sunday’ cause I made it up all on my own! You can play too if you like, it seems like it may be something you could sink your teeth into, but you can’t do the samecelebs as me, ok?
Thinking about it, I’ve only done it once so far,so it isnt exactly meme status yet
June 25th, 2008 at 1:59 pm
Bettina: Only if you want me to screw it up!
Maria: That is one isn’t it?
Suze: Trying to overcome. Word.
Jayne: Boo has specialist digestive enzymes from the US. We have to import them and shit. Can you imagine what he is like WITHOUT them?!
Jodie: I don’t think I could change. It is in my DNA to be a biatch. So no worries there..
GoaldeeBug: LOL, you nutter.
June 25th, 2008 at 3:36 pm
Hahaha..
“Fuck-me-dead-who-thinks-of-this-shit-Friday”
I’d be all over that shit.
June 25th, 2008 at 4:47 pm
ooooooooooooh - how about a “what shit do you have in your handbag/purse Monday”… or something.
You have to remove all the crap from your bag, spread it out into an obsessively pretty order on the floor, take a photo of it, then list what all the crap is (even the bits of fluff and funk)
Link me into that if you do - I have some amazingly spiffing bags.
PS - I still love my crocs… CROCS FOREVER!!!
June 25th, 2008 at 5:36 pm
by all means………… that’s kinda the point
June 25th, 2008 at 7:07 pm
Quote of the day from Boo or Moo or one of the Emos?
June 25th, 2008 at 7:19 pm
Memes or not, please, PLEASE keep spewing your shit. I need, NEED my daily dose of Kelley chuckles.
June 25th, 2008 at 9:02 pm
Huckdoll: perhaps we should do it. Like on a Thursday cause we are THAT hardcore.
Fee: Sorry did you say something?
Bettina: I will hold you to that.
Tess: Which one?
River:
June 25th, 2008 at 9:45 pm
right, so because I ended my comment in CROCS, you won’t tell me what a truly amazing idea it is?!?!? pfft.
For that, I am ordering some modified Crocs with “magnetoboldtoo lvs Crocs” down the side - woo-yeah!!!!
June 25th, 2008 at 10:25 pm
I got tagged yesterday…..so I think I’m gonna go with the meme MY way, not theirs. If you MUST have some ideas, just take a moment and continue telling everyone to fuck off and describe it in a line or two - nothing long needed here, just a good laugh.
And I’m feelin’ the pain of trying to think shit up, not an easy task! (I started a photoblog just so I could post something without writing anything….hey, what can I say - I suck, too)
June 26th, 2008 at 3:21 am
I might have said it more eloquently but you said it way more funnily (is that even a word?).
Here’s to memes with dumb names and other posty devices
June 26th, 2008 at 10:17 am
Kel, you need not worry. You are such a wonderful writer and people will ALWAYS keep coming back for more. You’re just a big stress head.
Will read whatever you spew forth.
June 26th, 2008 at 12:05 pm
whoever makes the most interesting/stupid comment
June 26th, 2008 at 5:33 pm
Fee: I was looking for those everyone does the same shit on the same day things not a tag everyone and piss em off thing. But I may take a photo of the inside of my bag. It is rather eye opening…
Queen Goob: Interesting concept. Perhaps I should start a Swear Jar blog where I just post expletives.
Izzy: I will drink to that. But then again I will drink to anything these days.
Tiff: oh babe, nice to know you love me regardless.
Tess: Stupid would be the Damn Emos I would say.
July 1st, 2008 at 10:35 am
how about a WMPO (what pisses me off) Wednesday
Show off Shoes Sunday
Wordless one finger salute Saturday
Training the kids Tuesday
But its not what you talk about its how you talk about it that has got us hanging off your every word. I bet you could do a post on watching a kettle boil and make it riveting reading - steamy too probably. In fact I request that you do a post on watching the kettle boil - go on- please
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