Better than sex.
Oh yes people, the name of the brownie I made today was Better Than Sex brownie.
And there is a reason I was compelled to make this. It is a message to MPS.
Yes, my dear husband, I am resorting to baking to get my message across.
I know you have been working long hours, I know you have been sick, I know that you just absolutely positively had to finish Guy Kawasaki’s book draft, I know Boo has been a bastard with the night time shenanigans. I know, I know, I fucking know already.
But I am sick of going to bed alone. I am sick of you finally falling into bed at 2, 3, 4am and snoring just before your head hits the pillow. Ya feel me?
Um, well you are not. So I guess you don’t.
Don’t make start adopting cats….
Anyway. I was Twittering about making these orgasmic morsels and promised to post the recipe. And seeing this is A HOUSEWORK AND RECIPE BLOG, I didn’t want to disappoint. And you know what makes this brownie EVEN BETTER? It is gluten and milk free. And they make me warm in my panties.
60grams dark chocolate
1/2 cup margarine or butter,
I use this stuff. Milk free, nut free (despite the name) and Failsafe and Feingold safe.
1 cup sugar
2 eggs, fork stirred
1 teaspoon vanilla
3/4 cup arrowroot flour
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon xanthan gum
1/2 cup chopped nuts (optional)
Heat oven to 350 degrees. Melt margarine and chocolate over low heat in
medium saucepan, stirring constantly.
Remove from heat.
Mix in sugar, then eggs and vanilla.
Stir in arrowroot flour, salt, xanthan gum, and
chopped nuts.
Yes, I am one of those freakshows that measure everything in bowls first like the TV chefs. Oh, and I clean as I go. Can anyone say control freak?
Boo gave me this. He saw me taking photos, therefore I am now Martha Stewart.
scratch that. Apparently I am this bloke
yeah. Thanks Boo, you bastard.
Generously grease an 8×8x2 inchpan, then shake 3 tablespoons arrowroot
flour around to cling to grease. Or line with baking paper. Spread brownie
mixture evenly in pan.
Bake in center of oven for 25 minutes. Give pan a half turn, and
continue baking 10 to 15 minutes until done. These brownies are done
when they feel firm to touch in the middle, and they have a nice shiny
sheen on the top crust.
Cool completely. Cut into squares with a thin sharp knife. Enjoy!
while blogging about my the awesomeness of the orgasm brownie.
And I made vegetarian burritos for dinner.
Nothing to do with the lack of humpy pumpy, inspired by this found on Fail Blog.
I do that all the time. I totally mistook one of my kids for a caesar salad once, realised while I was shaving the parmesan.
Pity I can’t say the same of the time I thought Too was a basketball. She still gets all skittish when we pass the basketball stadium.
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43 Responses to “Better than sex.”
May 29th, 2008 at 1:37 pm
Seeing though we’re in the same country and all,I feel kinda stupid (although I am NOT stupid, just extremely precious and sheltered) for not knowing what the fuck xanthan gum is? If you were in the US or something, I’d just go okkkkk, some wacky yank ingredient and move right along. But you’re not, so now I must know wtf it is.
HAHA! And oh shit! I’m first! I totally rock.
May 29th, 2008 at 1:48 pm
There was a whole lot of drool pooling around my keyboard … UNTIL the cat vomit.
You had me so close to climax and BAM! Cat vomit.
May 29th, 2008 at 1:49 pm
I’m from where you come from and I don’t even know what xanthan gum is!
I’m gonna have to make these brownies to see if they are truly better than sex…lol
May 29th, 2008 at 1:53 pm
Suze: You are totally stalking me right? You are always first!! And DOH! The xantham gum is a gluten free baking ingredient. You can leave it out or use plain flour instead of the arrowroot. Sorry. I told you this is not a recipe blog…
Maternal mirth: *snigger* I had to do that, didn’t want you on the brink and then BAM baby burrito..
Tina: Right now they are. Better than NOTHING!!! ARGHHHH!
May 29th, 2008 at 2:26 pm
….and you’ll be crafting up something wicked with that marg box won’t you Kelley-Martha??!
May 29th, 2008 at 2:33 pm
I’m in Australia and was about to ask what the ???? is Xantham Gum. What does it do?
May 29th, 2008 at 2:53 pm
I think I love you. GFCF brownies. I’d kiss you full on the mouth if you weren’t across the world.
I must make these!
May 29th, 2008 at 5:19 pm
You make me sick. Seriously.
Well, your brownies do anyway - Because they were so good I ate almost the whole tray.
We are gluten and lactose intolerant and I hadn’t yet found a decent chocolate brownie recipe we could eat.
My children will now know the awesomeness of chocolate brownies, thanks to you.
May 29th, 2008 at 5:35 pm
MMMMmmmmmmmmmm……those look awesome!
And how weird to call it “Nuttelex” when it doesn’t contain nuts? My first impression was that it contains peanuts.
May 29th, 2008 at 6:08 pm
I’m so not a domestic goddess, but I’ll try that. I might even put in some special Arabian shit that is acquired from the dude with the dreadlocks at the Zan… never mind.
Can’t hurt. I’m not getting any of anything, so it has to taste good.
May 29th, 2008 at 6:33 pm
Coincidence. Hubby has been asking me to make brownies for a week now. He wants my fudgy mars bar brownies though. I tried a gluten free brownie recipe once and I must have done something wrong because they weren’t nice at all. Or maybe I made them too soon after the fudgy ones…Xanthan gum is from the baking goods aisle ? Or from the health food aisle? Oh heck, i can check for myself at work tomorrow….
May 29th, 2008 at 6:34 pm
P.S. I’m also a control freak, if measuring and clean as you go are indicators of said obsession.
May 29th, 2008 at 7:05 pm
I’m so glad Guy Kawasaki and Jenny the Bloggess led me to your awesome Housework and Recipe Blog. You are truly a supermom. Yes, I know we’re in Australia, but baking brownies fair makes you a supermom.
Tonight I’m all about Hungry Jacks and where can I find me a biatch to bake brownies for me.
May 29th, 2008 at 7:22 pm
Imnomartha: Yeah, I am thinking a Madonna cone bra. But square. Cause I am all about the different.
Lightening: Yeah, sorry ’bout that. It is something that replaces the gluten elasticity missing in GF foods. Just skip it. Or you can use Slippery Elm, which is good for digestion.
Jen: While I was in the shower this morning Boo devoured half of what was left. If Boo will eat it then it must be good…
A: Use Lindt 70%cocoa chocolate *drool*. The ends are my fav part.
Katie: Yeah, I had to fight with the school to let me bring it for Boo. No peanuts are allowed at his school. But they still give the kids lollies…
Anja: Just grabbing my shoes…. I am on my way.
River: It depends. Coles have just started stocking it but before I used to get it online. You can just skip it.
Kitty Polestar: MY STALKER!!! Well if Boo hadn’t just eaten the last of the brownie I would have said swing by on your way to Hungry Jacks (Burger King for my US lovelies)
May 29th, 2008 at 8:38 pm
I’m going to just pretend I didn’t see a fucking cooking recipe here….
May 29th, 2008 at 10:18 pm
I am so seriously gonna marry you and have orgasmic brownies for the rest of my life
I’ve already started collecting the cats, ya know?!
Developed a dairy and gluten intolerance myself here and I now have something better than smashed spuds to eat.
Oh you are my goddess.
May 29th, 2008 at 10:42 pm
Oh my Gosh. Cat Vomit.
*dry heaves*
May 29th, 2008 at 10:56 pm
I’ve never heard of half of your ingredients..but I’ll take your word for it that it’s good.
In other news..it’s not a baby, it’s a burrito? WTF???
May 29th, 2008 at 11:13 pm
there’s so much in this post that i don’t even know what to comment on.
but the cat vomit did me in…. *shudder*
May 29th, 2008 at 11:17 pm
“I totally mistook one of my kids for a caesar salad once, realised while I was shaving the parmesan.” Best. Line. Ever.
May 29th, 2008 at 11:20 pm
Good thing you took another picture, I was questioning if that *really* was a microphone or if it was another hidden message to your hubby.
May 29th, 2008 at 11:21 pm
Orgasmic brownies? Count me in! GF and dairy free too? Bloody Brilliant! I got me a few of those peeps around!
You are officially a Goddess. (It takes one to know one!)
Did the ‘cat vomit’ taste good?
May 29th, 2008 at 11:31 pm
and to think I thought this was a SEX blog.
May 30th, 2008 at 2:49 am
UM, WOW! I need to read this blog more often and who mistakes a child for a burrito? Honestly!
May 30th, 2008 at 5:48 am
Burrito baby… how?
Brownies, yum!
Though I thought the burritos looked more like when drunk men vomit after having a kebab? I’m sure they tasted delicious though!
May 30th, 2008 at 7:11 am
Child- Burrito….same thing! WTF?
Brownies are my biggest weakness…damn you woman! Now I’ll have to go make me some.
May 30th, 2008 at 8:55 am
BoxBoy: *snort* and tomorrow I will tell you how to make a centerpiece for your table out of used tampons and a condom.
Jayne: Was there any doubt of my Goddess like status?
Maria: It was delicious! We just had to stop the dog eating it first. Cause dogs love them some cat vomit, oh and horse shit.
mp: What you have never mistaken a child for a burrito?
The Planet of Janet: Unfortunately that is how my mind works. Eleventy hundred things at once.
Karly: Luckily I didn’t mistake the bunneh for the parmesan. Then that would have been weird.
Ange: *snort* I do believe the balls are supposed to be blue…
Laura: The vomit was vomitalicious.
lceel: Well you need to talk to MPS about that…
Dirty Laundry Diva: I know! I mean a caesar salad is totally reasonable, but a burrito? Madness!
Kath: as long as we didn’t look at them…
Sandy: Make sure to keep the edges for me babe.
May 30th, 2008 at 8:57 am
You may be surprised to learn I don’t have many condoms around at the moment…
May 30th, 2008 at 9:52 am
“BoxBoy: *snort* and tomorrow I will tell you how to make a centerpiece for your table out of used tampons and a condom.”
I want to see that, I SO want to see that.
and then Boxboy says:
“You may be surprised to learn I don’t have many condoms around at the moment…”
They make condoms in your size, Boxboy? Bahahahaha… for real?
*falls over laughing*
May 30th, 2008 at 10:52 am
That must have been one large-ass burrito.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:58 am
i love “nom nom nom”
May 30th, 2008 at 12:51 pm
I knew I came here for a reason (via Mr Fab). The Fail Blog link. Awesomeness.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:51 pm
Amen on that large-ass buttito! I had some for lunch today, so I had to laugh when I saw that.
May 30th, 2008 at 1:21 pm
A burrito baby? Seriously.
I’m glad you posted that recipe. We could all use some brownies around here and ivy can eat those.
Thank you.
May 30th, 2008 at 1:36 pm
You had me at “generously grease”. Ha ha. Now THAT will wake MPS up! And he never even showed up down at the docks that one night too!
May 30th, 2008 at 2:49 pm
In lieu of sex… brownies. Sounds like a good plan. Hoping I’ll find some xanthan gm in the health food section and then I’ll be able to call these a healthy treat!
May 30th, 2008 at 2:51 pm
“xanthan gm” oops… I meant xanthan gum. The vodka made me misspell.
May 30th, 2008 at 3:17 pm
BoxBoy: Rubber band and cling wrap?
Anja: I will get the girls to help me make one. Ewwwwww!
Ree: Tell me about it!
Dawn: It is so descriptive. I love almost as much as arsehat. But I won’t be nom nom nomming no arsehats though..
Whall: Yeah thanks. Give you a link and then you bugger off. Noice. Real noice.
Coast Rat: You eat babies for lunch?
Tiff: Your welcome my lovely. I have a lot more recipes if you want them. When I offered I was genuine.
VE: Lazy bastard was probably too busy playing on the computer than to defend his wifes honour. Bastard. He is all talk…
Kel: I am thinking the vodka is a much better idea!
May 30th, 2008 at 4:02 pm
Anja - of course they are, they’ve been making the ‘colossus’ range for a while now…
May 30th, 2008 at 4:09 pm
BoxBoy: Sweetie, they go on your doodle, not your head. *pats the midget on the head in sympathy*
May 30th, 2008 at 5:43 pm
They don’t go on MY doodle.
May 30th, 2008 at 8:00 pm
Hahaha, these last few comments have me giggling out loud, getting some strange looks from hubby, who still doesn’t understand the blog reading fascination.
June 1st, 2008 at 12:30 pm
I don’t have a working oven.
*sobs*
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