Buffer post to stop the madness.
Go and have a look at the previous post. There seems to be a competition on who will comment LAST. You guys are cracking my shit up and I am supposed to be doing serious stuff like mopping floors, cutting my toenails or contemplating my next victim.
I was planning on doing a post this afternoon. Like in a couple of hours. But you people are going all crazy arsed on me so here is a buffer post.
VE, my lovely VE has been begging me (admit it you bastard) to do a guest post.
Today he emailed me. Here is the exchange. I am pink cause, I am like a girl and he is blue from lack of oxygen to his brain.
VE:
Here’s a post from me for your use:
You just lost the Gum! Looooser!
Everyone in the world is chewing the gum.
Whenever you think about the gum you lose the gum.
When you do lose the gum you must announce you lost the gum (and stop chewing!)
There is a grace period after you lose where for 20 minutes you can itch your balls or pick your nose write a novel or whatever without worry about chewing the gum.
Some perpetual losers try to swallow the gum but then everyone knows that they like to swallow!
Sure, that gum is tough and flavorless now but you gotta chew or·.
You just lost the gum. Looser!
I’m leaving gum all over the place! That arsehat in the mailroom·a full pack for that biatch!
Those biatches with the piss ugly shoes over there·.gumball rally!
The awesome Goddess. Um, that would be me.
Bwaaaaa haaaa haaaaaa!
I told Moo. She was all ‘you are such a loser mum’ and I am all ‘well you just lost the game biatch’ and she is all ‘leave my room now’
Bloody Emo teenagers.
So VE, where is my guest post? You teasing me or what?
Kelley
The pathetic piker - that would be you VE:
I gave it to you!!! Put it out there…see if anyone catches if it’s you or not….
VE
That Goddess of awesomeness:
Pathetic! They would totally know that it is not me because:
no pictures of phallus
it is not the size of a small novel
it doesn’t sound like a 36 year old woman trying to sound like a 17 year old surfer dude or the turtle from Finding Nemo
and I would never say ‘piss ugly’ cause I am more refined than that. I would totally make up a word.
So, tell me, would you have been fooled by his pathetic attempt at mimicking me? I mean COME ON as if anyone could even try to match my arrogance, I mean healthy self esteem.
Oh and stay tuned, that post will be up soon. Unfortunately no photos of phallus, but it involves Guy Kawasaki, Jenny the Bloggess and a mad blonde stalker. It will be epic. Well to me anyway…
Now off to attempt to be the last commentor on my own post.
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42 Responses to “Buffer post to stop the madness.”
May 22nd, 2008 at 12:36 pm
I’m hoping if I wish upon a star every night, The Bloggess and Guy Kawasaki will adopt me and we’ll live happily ever after.
May 22nd, 2008 at 12:58 pm
Epic, eh? Woot Woot!
May 22nd, 2008 at 1:21 pm
Yeah I have to agree, I don’t think you’d say “piss ugly”. I could be wrong it maybe it’s your very favouritest term ever, but I don’t know…..
May 22nd, 2008 at 1:48 pm
um. i’m soooooo confused!
May 22nd, 2008 at 1:52 pm
not quite enough dramaticness to be you.
A blatant rip off
oh and btw………. You lost the game.
May 22nd, 2008 at 1:59 pm
Sonia: *snort* not likely. And you were supposed to scream FIRST! Cause I was going to, and it would have been funny and shit but I got distracted by the shiny. Really need to hide the shiny. Being distracting and all.
Maria: In my mind. Just remember that. Don’t want you going and getting some hopeage there. See! See what I did? Totally made up a word. In your face VE!
Suze: Nah, piss ugly is too undignified.
The planet of Janet: And that would be because you are drunk? When have any of my posts made sense woman?
Bettina: Fuck me dead woman! Goaldeebug just made me lose on Twitter like 20 minutes ago and now you? It is a conspiracy I know it. Fucking Ninja are behind it right?
May 22nd, 2008 at 2:13 pm
I’ve got nothing.
May 22nd, 2008 at 2:47 pm
My goal is actually to be last on this post.
May 22nd, 2008 at 2:48 pm
If I can’t be last, i would at least like to leave an outrageous number of comments.
May 22nd, 2008 at 3:17 pm
And..one last comment before I go to bed. That is all.
May 22nd, 2008 at 4:48 pm
me and guy kawasaki and jenny all together in one post *swoon*
oh please please post soon I have to drive teh big city for A Grown Up Conference and I will be paying a squillion dollars per second for broadband access in my hotel room later tonight (Yes. In Australia that’s what it costs.) must read now…….
May 22nd, 2008 at 4:49 pm
Q? Do you ever get enough sleep at night? Your active mind is amazing, I must say! By the way, Tonya is head over tea kettles busy these hours in pulling off the First Annual Gulf Coast Autism Awareness Week here, which includes a Run/Walk this Saturday. I was going to see if i could get you a T-shirt, but don’t know your size… Take care.
May 22nd, 2008 at 5:04 pm
Hmph, I am soooo not blonde!
And here I thought you were gonna share your Clinkers in Biology !!!!!
I’m telling Miss
May 22nd, 2008 at 5:46 pm
I don’t give a rat’s back passage about whether I’m the last person on this post, but I must address one thing, my hooker heeled one. Thou art arrogant, and thou hast one of the filthiest mouths on the blogosphere, but… YOU ARE NOT MORE ARROGANT THAN ME.
Oh yeah, like Bettina said, to do with that game and all that jazz. You do.
May 22nd, 2008 at 5:48 pm
Oooo goodie. Bettina is beating boxboy in the comments. Hey Mistress, didn’t you know midget tossing was banned?
May 22nd, 2008 at 7:18 pm
Do trombones come in different sizes?
May 22nd, 2008 at 7:35 pm
Do trombones come?
May 22nd, 2008 at 7:36 pm
If you play the right tune
May 22nd, 2008 at 9:10 pm
Epic AND a mad blonde stalker. I’m intrigued..Better get in a new supply of cappucino fudge, maybe some mississippi mud too………and clinkers.Lots of coffee. Marathon read coming up.
May 22nd, 2008 at 11:21 pm
midget tossing is banned?
Fuck. I had no idea!
Is there a reason we are tossing the midget oh tall dark frosty goddess?
May 23rd, 2008 at 5:11 am
LAST!
May 23rd, 2008 at 5:46 am
So who wins?
May 23rd, 2008 at 7:44 am
You lose, Boxboy.
May 23rd, 2008 at 7:45 am
Lose what, exactly?
May 23rd, 2008 at 9:09 am
your sanit……… oh wait, you lost that ages ago
May 23rd, 2008 at 11:30 am
If you give him a little ladder to climb on, he might find it again.
May 23rd, 2008 at 11:32 am
I wouldn’t want him to fall those two inches and hurt himself
May 23rd, 2008 at 5:00 pm
Diesel: Nothing? Absolutely nothing? How terrible.
Shamelessly Sassy: Sigh. FAIL! On both counts.
Mad Blonde Stalker: *snort*
Coast Rat: Yeah, sometimes I do, but not nearly as much as I would like. Will try and get that email together soon. Things have been mad here, and not just on the blog.
Jayne: I need to take a class in remedial sharing. I have bought eleventy hundred packets of Clinkers to send to Ree. Alas they are all in my belly.
Anja: I am too. I am fucking awesome I tellz ya.
BoxBoy and Anja: Get a room you two. And boxing gloves…
River: and you were sorely disappointed…. but it was epic in my mind.
Shamelessly Sassy: Again, FAIL!
you other lot: stop picking on the poor widdle boy. That is my job.
May 23rd, 2008 at 5:04 pm
Hooker Heels. I can’t take Boxboy into a room. It’s seriously wrong to beat up on someone who only comes up to my kneecaps. Poor little thing is fragile.
And I know you’re seriously awesome, but alas… you’re not quite as arrogant as moi. You’re getting there, though.
May 23rd, 2008 at 6:13 pm
Believe me, I’d come further than your kneecaps…
May 23rd, 2008 at 6:30 pm
Sure you would, leprechaun lad. *pats it on its widdle head*
May 23rd, 2008 at 6:34 pm
sorry, I didn’t realise you had a speech impediment
May 23rd, 2008 at 7:14 pm
Cute, very cute. You’re a sweet little thing when you’re trying to be funny. You fail miserably, but you’re sweet.
May 23rd, 2008 at 7:16 pm
I’m more salty than sweet, so I’m told…
May 24th, 2008 at 1:27 am
I feel so abused….
You just lost the gum! Ha ha. Loooser!
Also…I’m LAST!!!!!!
May 24th, 2008 at 3:38 am
LAST COMMENT!!!
May 24th, 2008 at 8:20 am
No….I’m Last….you all just lost the GUM!!!
May 24th, 2008 at 11:21 pm
But more importantly……………..
May 25th, 2008 at 9:37 am
Has someone muzzled Boxboy yet?
May 25th, 2008 at 9:45 am
I was muzzled for about 45 minutes earlier, but that was just to spice things up.
May 25th, 2008 at 10:26 am
Anja and BoxBoy: I feel I am no longer part of this altercation and just the vehicle….
VE: Um, no… LOSER!!!! Bwaaa haaaaa haaaaaa!!!
Kath: see above…
VE: see above above. Or something like that..
May 26th, 2008 at 12:33 pm
You know what the great part of this is now? I’m last again! Bwaaa haaaa haaaa! See…everytime I comment I’m last! And you know it!!!
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