I am a woman of my word, Iceel you bastard.
Alternate title:
The post where I go all mummy gooey, ask for a favour and then show my boobies.
Before my breasticles, an actual post.
Boo had a wonderful time at camp. I drove the hair raising drive out to the secluded camp, in the middle of freaking NOWHERE with hills that rivaled rollercoasters in the fucking RAIN, and found him doing archery. Well I heard him first, yelling at the kids to stand where he deemed necessary and basically ruling the roost. As usual.
He came running to me.
*insert silly giggly mess of a Mummy here*
And then he showed me around. Smiling and happy and proud of himself.
And he is going back tomorrow. And tomorrow he wants to do the ‘zip wire’ and I am all ‘um no’ and whispering to his aide ‘No. Freaking. Way.’ and she is all ‘Way, Kelley’ and I am all ‘I know where you live woman’
Yeah, the kid is smiling. Right before the rope snaps and she goes hurtling into a tree. ( I stole this pic from the net, cause the zip wire at camp is impossible to see through all the trees! and branches! and other obstacles that will remove a limb! )
Then Boo and I went shopping. And he helped me load the groceries on the belt.
Loudly playing Tetris with them. I guess the people around us have never played Tetris cause they were all looking at me funny while I rolled around the floor laughing.
While I was rolling around with mirth I got a call on my mobile.
Moo has a job interview this afternoon here:
So send some good vibes for her people. It would be awesome if she got this job because then she can leave me the fuck alone. And I can choose another mantra than ‘Get. A. Job’ when she starts with the whining. The law says I have to provide you with food and shelter. You are lucky it is not bread, twigs and a rubber band, biatch.
And while you are piling on the lurve go and vote for my caption here at Mattress Police. Awsome blog with a blogger, Diesel, that knows a cool chick when he sees one. Oh and Grundir, his evil meme wraithing undeadness, *swoon* I loves me a man in black that smells of death and failure. So go over there, vote for moi so I can win some lame arsed button and run around screaming ‘In your face, In your face!’ to the non-plussed bunny and the naked-sultana-stealing boy.
And now we come to the end of the post. Sorta like this book from my childhood:
Scared?
Now this is not a gratuitous boob shot. I challenged lceel in my comments. This is how it went down. How I ended up flashing my lovelies in this post.
In this post lceel commented :
“You do realize, of course, that your karma is not going to let yo get over this shit you’re suffering until such time as “I” am included on your blogroll. Or you send me a naked picture.”
I was all ‘I have a boob shot that I sent to Fab. Will that do? (*snigger* checking to see if you read my comments in the comments, if you reply I will post the pic on my blog)’
Andrew chimed in with:
“Iceel,
hey, there’s a line for naked pictures, get to the back of the queue 
Cheers, Andrew”
and then I think everyone emailed him to tell him to come back and respond with:
“I ALWAYS check the comments. And I am willing to wait in line, as Andrew suggests. It’s YOUR karma, after all. And your naked picture.”
Damn.
So here are my lovelies. As entered in Mr Fabulous’ boobie competition. Which by the way, I got like NO votes cause I didn’t pimp for them. That’s right innit Fab? You would have totally voted for mine wouldn’t you?
Like how arty it is, all B&W? Even the fact that I said ‘B&W’ instead of black and white just shows how freaking classy I am. And ‘X marks the nipple’? That was totally Fab’s doing…
And now that Karma thing? I am expecting to win the lotto this weekend lceel.
Mumma needs a big arsed house.
Popularity: 51% [?]
40 Responses to “I am a woman of my word, Iceel you bastard.”
May 8th, 2008 at 3:39 pm
1. So glad Boo had a great time at camp. Try not to think about the zipline.
2. Sending a Mexican Wave of good vibes for Moo’s job interview - imagine how many 6 inch vs foot long jokes you’ll be able to make then!
3. The first time I’ve seen “Show us ya tits” actually work! That red X must be a bit uncomfortable though…
May 8th, 2008 at 3:42 pm
We wouldn’t say obsessed Andrew……….. fixated perhaps
lol
So glad Boo had a great day hon. Hope today went just as well. Also sending job winning vibes to Moo.
so bloggy boob shots are the new black aye?
May 8th, 2008 at 3:55 pm
AHA! I knew Boo would have a ball! Hope Moo gets her job. My kids is working at Coles a couple of nights a week - surprising how low they keep their mobile phone bills when they have to pay for them now - suffer teenager - take that
May 8th, 2008 at 3:59 pm
“…X marks the nipple.” *lololol*
*slaps knee*
May 8th, 2008 at 4:00 pm
*wipes tears of sentimentality away from her eyes*
Damn, I remember my first boob shot on my blog….so long ago, so many memories…….
May 8th, 2008 at 4:46 pm
you win again Kelley …go YOU !
Go Moo too ! Subway pays well and they feed you.
I love the Monster at the end of this book.
Glad Boo had a great time.
May 8th, 2008 at 4:50 pm
Hi Kel,
thanks for sharing. I know now why I love you, apart from the razor wit and the compassionate nature
Of course I would have voted for you, you would have tracked me down and stiletto-heeled me to death otherwise - if only I had known.
The scary thing is I remember Karen’s first blog boob shot too.. anyone would think that all I was totally obsessed
Best regards, Andrew
May 8th, 2008 at 5:15 pm
Now, I read Karen and Andrews comments before I made mine, but mine are showing before theirs……. spooky!
May 8th, 2008 at 5:35 pm
Weird! All the comments are coming up out of order… mah boobies must have melted my blogs poor widdle brain.
May 8th, 2008 at 6:08 pm
I reckon we ought to get a Youtube video of you “shaking your lovelies”….
May 8th, 2008 at 6:23 pm
So glad Boo had a fun time. Tetris on the conveyor belt, why not? Damn, I would have so loved having him in the supermarket with me today. Old women who smell like fart annoy the hell out of me.
Sending positive vibes and half for Moo getting the job. Subway, one of the cleaner establishments.
You have beautiful hair. Almost as dead sexy as mine.
But I’m fucking jealous of your rack. 
May 8th, 2008 at 6:32 pm
Yay that Boo had a good time at camp. And I am so trying conveyor belt tetris.
And the IT tech guy that monitors our computer use must have loved his job when the picture of your rack came up. *waves* Hey Sir!
May 8th, 2008 at 6:57 pm
How do you play tetris on a conveyor belt? It sounds like fun. One of my customers plays trains, he loads up his groceries in one long line, sometimes a straight line, sometimes there’s corners for the train to go around, he’s about 60 and gets a few odd looks from other customers but he doesn’t care.
I want to know if Boo went on the zip wire. Did he? Did he? I think he would LOVE flying through the air like that.
Hope Moo gets the job.
May 8th, 2008 at 7:21 pm
Seems the weird comments moving around crap has settled so I will reply in order - hopefully.
Guera: Yeah, it is a tad itchy…
Bettina: Totally the new black. Gunna post a pic? LMAO
Suze: Oh I hear ya! And how ‘I need this…’ will decline when she actually has to buy the crap herself!
Maria: Well it is slightly off centre..
Karen: *snort* well that will be the first and last.
Trish: Awesome! Free food! I will save money then?
Andrew: Well I am not going to ask you to compare. Cause you love me best anyway
Solomon: No amount of Entrecard credits are gunna get me to do that. And thankyou AGAIN for my pressie!
Anja: Unfortunately my rack barely obscures my fat belly.
Kath: Oh HI SIR!!!! So all the ‘fuck me dead’s and the like wouldn’t send them in a tail spin? And with the Tetris, you have to do the music too.
River: Take things out of the trolley, place on the conveyor belt humming the tune and inserting them in the spaces. When the chick takes the stuff you do the noise that Tetris does when you get a row. As for the zip wire, I hope not, he goes again tomorrow…
May 8th, 2008 at 7:29 pm
I hope moo gets the job…
Yay nice tits Kelley..Now does that compliment get me added to your blogroll or what woman????
*snickers* when I posted my boobs on my blog I was wearing a t-shirt that said Ho! Ho! Ho!
*skips away cackling..*
May 8th, 2008 at 8:19 pm
The zip wire *shudders* Why to they bother with a piddly little helmet when the child is screaming through the air at a gazillion miles per hour hanging off a bit of garden twine ?!?
Nice rack. I have to roll mine up and stuff ‘em in the over-the-shoulder-boulder-holder…or stand on my head till they fall back to where they’re supposed to hang
May 8th, 2008 at 8:56 pm
1 - Good on Boo!
2 - My sister is addicted to Subway, if she lived in Aus they would need extra staff for her alone.
3 - Is that your hair or a dead racoon sweeping over your right whatsit? and it IS right whatsit and not left as whatsits are only to be considered from the viewpoint of the onlooker and not the owner.
Is that photo ‘B&W’ cuz that was the only option back when it was taken…
…Whistles…
May 8th, 2008 at 9:12 pm
Maybe you should make a button that says “Take my rack to BlogHer”
May 8th, 2008 at 9:46 pm
nice rack, Kelley!
Yay for Boo and fingers crossed for Moo.
pay no attention to that x box man, his mind is addled at the moment.
May 8th, 2008 at 10:14 pm
Sending lots of good thoughts for a Subway job! Hey do you get free Sweet Onion Chicken Teriyakis because I’m totally there if that’s the case….
May 8th, 2008 at 10:39 pm
lol! What? posting pics of my love slaves butt isn’t good enough?
Not just the times on your comments that are out, the forum times are out of whack for me too.
May 8th, 2008 at 10:49 pm
Hey Kelley
Wow - you are stacked. No wonder you would wanna bring those girls out. Nice one. Even bought out the lascivious male in me - a boring, hetero, suburban house wife. Imagine what they’d do for bona fida men!!!
May 8th, 2008 at 11:07 pm
So you have Eastie-Westies? Rather than the straight ahead, forward-looking ones?
May 8th, 2008 at 11:23 pm
I would have SOOOO voted for your boobies. Shortman applied at Subway, too. He eats there enough, he may break even if he worked there, too!
May 8th, 2008 at 11:24 pm
Nice tatas lady. And that zip picture? Very cool.
May 9th, 2008 at 12:48 am
Your rack hypnotizes me….
They have Subways over there? Wow…
May 9th, 2008 at 1:39 am
I definitely would have voted for your rack! Any chance you’d like to donate some for the less fortunate over here????
Love the pics and Subway!
May 9th, 2008 at 1:42 am
As long as I don’t write fuck in school they don’t know I’m reading something with it in. They just read titles of pages and image names. But if I write that (Or anything on a certain list) it flashes up on their computers. So I would never write fuck in school. But as I’m at home now, I can write it all I like. (It would have been the boobs in the jpg name that triggered it for him.)
May 9th, 2008 at 2:41 am
BTW, if I didn’t say so, lovely tatas. I love the little pyramid between ‘em. Looks like a place I’d like to bury my nose - to start with.
May 9th, 2008 at 3:19 am
I would totally vote for that rack. Awesome boobs (she’s says with no small amount of envy).
And yay Boo.
And good luck Moo.
May 9th, 2008 at 3:21 am
Of course you realize that ultimately boobies are like the stock market. Their up and then their down and there’s not a damn thing you can do about it without cheating…
May 9th, 2008 at 3:31 am
yay for boo and good luck to moo.
as for the boobie shot, i think my problem is, as a charter member of the itty bitty titty committee, i’m just jealous.
alas.
May 9th, 2008 at 5:09 am
I’m not sure which is worse … you posting your boobs online or me looking at them. Or the fact that I am eating fake Gen soy potato bakes as I type. So much is wrong with today…
May 9th, 2008 at 5:22 am
oh, I’m SO GLAD he had fun! And good luck to YOUR moo, hee!
(don’t worry about the zip line. He will be fabulous on it!!)
May 9th, 2008 at 8:39 am
Gooo Boo! Bet he’ll love the Zip line. And any other activity that brings you out in hives at teh mere thought.
Love the X …
May 9th, 2008 at 11:48 am
Sexy lady! I loved that book as a kid.
May 9th, 2008 at 12:45 pm
Speechless. I’m a bit lost right now. Hold me?
May 9th, 2008 at 12:50 pm
That Grover book is the best. I bought a new copy for DD9 when she was 2. Did you know that there is another one called (wait for it) ANOTHER monster at the end of this book. This one features Grover AND Elmo and Grover is all scared like and Elmo is all like C’mon Mr Grover and in the end they can’t decide which one of them is the monster at the end of the book. Man… I talk some shit don’t I?
May 9th, 2008 at 8:21 pm
[…] last blog post..I am a woman of my word, Iceel you […]
May 9th, 2008 at 9:15 pm
ROFL I love the X marks the nipple. And I am in total awe of that action-shot up there, I have no idea how people are able to get part in focus and part not. If I attempted a photo like that, it would all be a blur. Just a big blur.
Bleh.
Leave a Comment