Oh. Ooops!
Last night was muggy, hot, sticky weather.
So I was cranky. Cause that kinda night brings out the crazy in me. Well more than normal.
Boo was finally asleep. 11.00pm, not bad considering the humidity. I wandered around doing the shit that mothers do before they go to bed and fell into bed around 11.30.
MPS was already in bed. Lying spread eagled across it. Snoring.
I resisted the urge to punch him in the testicles for just going to bed when he felt like it, leaving all the crap for me to do before bed.
‘Don’t touch me!’ I bared my teeth at him, when he rolled over as I finally lay down.
‘Your hot and sweaty, don’t touch me!’ as I swatted his huge hunk of sweaty arm off my stomach.
And then he started. Tossing and turning. Bouncing around.
‘For fucks sake stay still’ I groaned.
The bed was literally bouncing. I had visions of the Exorcist. Tubular Bells started playing in my head.
‘MPS! Stop. It.’
Eventually he got up. Out of courtesy or self preservation, I am not sure.
As he left his phone started beeping.
I staggered out of bed and literally threw the phone at him, snarled, and went back to bed.
And slept the sleep of the dead.
This morning I woke to find him not there. He slept on the couch.
Good. Asshat.
As I was walking down the hallway I felt eyes staring in my direction. The biggest mother fucking spider staring at me. I think the bastard waved.
So I ran into MPS to get him to kill the intruder. He grudgingly gets up and does the deed. And then comes in to the bathroom where I am showering Boo.
‘You know that alarm on my phone last night?’
‘Yeah. Your lucky I didn’t rectally insert the bastard’
‘It was at midnight. I remind me that it is our anniversary today’
Oh.
Um. Yeah.
18 years today*, and we haven’t killed each other yet.
Happy Anniversary!
* our wedding anniversary is New Years Eve, but we celebrate the day we, as Moo so eloquently puts it, hooked up.
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28 Responses to “Oh. Ooops!”
February 5th, 2008 at 12:16 pm
Happy Anniversary! We’ve made it 10 years so far. 18 years is possible? Wow. I bow to you.
February 5th, 2008 at 12:46 pm
What a lovely gesture after 18 years. But, honestly, I would have thrown the phone at him too.
Congrats on 18 years of getting it on!
February 5th, 2008 at 1:14 pm
Happy Anniversary!! 18 years is an amazing achievement.
February 5th, 2008 at 1:34 pm
Happy Anniversary. 18 years is amazing. Well done.
And for an anniversary present maybe you could print out a how-to on changing the time for the alarm on a reminder. Great that he set it, but bummer that it was at midnight.
February 5th, 2008 at 1:41 pm
Aww, if you had shoved the phone up his rectum, you could have had so much fun calling his number. *giggles*
February 5th, 2008 at 1:52 pm
Ange: Well I was still a child when we got together. Moo is coming up to my age when I met her father. Scary shit.
Stimey: *snort* that is one way of looking at it. Or 18 years of getting it on with the same guy….
Riayn: Oh babe you don’t know the half of it. I am truly amazed. More than half my life…..
Gemisht: Well babe, you know how close it came to not getting this far. As for the phone, I think slapping him around the head with the phone would be much more satisfying.
Anja: *gaffaw*
February 5th, 2008 at 2:42 pm
Happy Anniversary. Hubbie and I will be 11 years together soon - which is frightening! Hope you have a better night tonight.
February 5th, 2008 at 2:52 pm
Dontcha just LOVE the way kids can sometimes just get right to the point?
February 5th, 2008 at 3:08 pm
Happy anniversary!
February 5th, 2008 at 3:10 pm
Karen: Will have a lovely time tonight, we are going to Indian!!! MPS gets to meet hot Indian waiter….. *snort*
Iceel: Yes, teens just have that knack don’t they?
February 5th, 2008 at 3:23 pm
Happy Anniversary
But I still say you get less for murder these days…
February 5th, 2008 at 4:27 pm
Jeebuz - how old were you when you hooked up? Eight?
D and I just clocked up seven years in January. Not having the wedding to anniversarise, we count our hook-up anniversary as being as close as we’ll get.
We first met when D was 21 (and a right knob he was, too)
February 5th, 2008 at 5:33 pm
My first marriage made it to 23 years, second is coming up to the 6th anniversary soon.
February 5th, 2008 at 7:17 pm
Happy Anniversary guys!
February 5th, 2008 at 8:06 pm
Congratulations!
Our 7th wedding anniversary this year but 13 years since we hooked up (love that phrase). I think we have now officially been married longer than we were hooked up.
February 5th, 2008 at 8:07 pm
LOL. I have a cool ‘hating each other on our anniversary’ story. I may blog about it one day. My husband has a pager, so I know all about the beeping in the middle of the night. You crack me up girl. How you can have so much shit going on and make it all sound hilarious, I’ll never know! I have wine tonight, so all is right with the world.
February 5th, 2008 at 9:09 pm
Happy anniversary to you and MPS!
I didn’t miss the boat tonight.
Dave and I have been married for 14 years this year and together for 17 (but don’t tell my ex boyfriend that *wink*!
February 5th, 2008 at 10:01 pm
Well done. That’s a lot of time together. Enjoy the hot Indian waiter, you wild and crazy kids!
February 5th, 2008 at 10:29 pm
Congratulations to you and MPS - what a hero to get that monster spider for you - he didn’t use your shoes did he ?
We clock up our 18 yrs (6570 days) Sunday …he is not gonna forget it.
What da get … wrapped in paper or a box [not ;)]
February 5th, 2008 at 10:46 pm
Jayne: How true. I would be out by now, probably with a degree…
Jodi: *whispers* 17, he was 27…..
River: Only 5 more years to go before I trade him in on a working model…
Missy: Thanks babe!
Marita: We got married NYE 1999. we wanted to wait till we finished poppin’ out babies. So they all could be bastards
Tracey: Ya gotta laugh that is all. MPS used to have a phone AND a pager and it would go off all the freaking TIME! Drove me insane, especially when he would be on the phone in the toilet! Ewww!
Tiff: Ooooh scandal! This is the actual anniversary of my boyfriend moving to Queensland and we could actually start seeing each other! So sounds like a similar tale
Frogdancer: HE WASN’T THERE!!! WAAAAAAA!!! Must have been his night off. We got some chicky babe.
Trish: Not counting the days are we babe? Are you carving them on the wall *snort*
What did I get? The same thing I get for our wedding anniversary, valentines day, my birthday and easter. Sweet fuck all. Bastard is damn lucky he is consistent.
February 5th, 2008 at 10:51 pm
Congratulations to you both!
February 5th, 2008 at 11:39 pm
Awww, that’s sweet. No really it is.
Sleeping on the couch is a sign of true love. Oh and I was 18 and Hubby was 29 when we “hooked up”. Oh my, 9 years ago now!
February 6th, 2008 at 3:19 am
Heeeyyy!! Congrats on the anniversay. 18 years! That’s really great.
February 6th, 2008 at 4:41 am
Good for you. I never quite made it to 18. Fell 7 months short. Thank GOD! I’m much happier now.
February 6th, 2008 at 9:38 am
Casdok: Thanks. 18 years and very little blood spilled…
Kin: Just wait till your daughter is 18, then 29 will seem oooooooold!!!!
Diva: Thanks babe.
VE: *gaffaw*
February 6th, 2008 at 2:56 pm
Happy Anniversary! 18 years that’s GREAT!
February 6th, 2008 at 10:27 pm
aww happy hook-upversary!! My hook-upversary is in June. 13 years since he picked me up and tried to dump me in a garbage can. Where ever does the time go? lol
February 7th, 2008 at 10:58 am
Don’t you hate when they do something all nice and romantic when you’re in NO mood?
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