……and my accident for today will be….
were the first words out of Boo’s mouth as we got to school this morning.
Yes, I sent him to school. More on that in a minute.
I looked at Boo. Picked my jaw up from the ground, wiped off the asphalt, leaves and rocks, and popped my eyes back in my head.
‘Pardon?’ I stammered.
‘My accident for today will be…. my back. Oh my aching back’ Boo exclaimed.
Again picking up of jaw and wiping of debris.
‘Um, Boo, what do you mean?’ slack jawed, incredulous Mummy asked while helping him limp into the school grounds.
‘I am going to have an accident and hurt my back today!’ he cheerily replied in between ‘ouch’, ‘ooch’, ‘awwwww’ ’s.
I have always wondered, after him predicting a day off school months in advance, circling it on the calendar and then actually having the day off school because I was planning my grandfathers funeral, if Boo is psychic.
Or Murphy.
As we are slowly hobbling into the school grounds all the aides come rushing over to see how their boy is.
Boo starts to clutch his back.
‘Oh, my aching back!’ he exclaims
The aides are startled. I explain Boo’s ‘prediction’. They all melt into gooey piles of adoration. Exclaiming ‘He is so cute’ and ‘God I love that kid’ and ‘He is a riot!’
And I am all ‘No, if he hurts his freaking back today YOU are taking him home. Call me if there is something wrong with his foot, but if he hurts his back I am on the first fucking plane to Tahiti.
And don’t tell the bastard where I have gone!’
And then I went and bought this:
Which 3 hours later looked like this:
So why on earth would I sent a child with a broken bone in his foot to school? WITHOUT any pain relief?
Because I am a selfish biatch?
Because I love to see my child suffer?
Because I wanted to stuff my face full of chocolate in peace and quiet on my first day kid free in 2 months?
You could see it that way.
My take on it is this.
The kid cannot stay still. At home he is rushing from this to that, from that to this, leaving a path of destruction in his wake.
At school he knows the rules. You sit in your chair. The End.
The pain killers knocked him out. I mean Knocked. Him. OUT. I am buying a fucking case of that shit. The kid slept ALL NIGHT. I will say that again…
THE KID SLEPT ALL NIGHT!!!!
But he was also groggy and completely pain free. So just before he went to bed he was bouncing on his freaking mini tramp in the playroom.
With his eyes closed.
Don’t want him groggy and pain free at school. He needs the pain to remember to not walk around.
Turns out it was a good call. Bucketed down rain all day and the kids were stuck inside.
He is now home wreaking havoc.
I am 10 seconds away from tackling him and pouring the whole bottle of pain killers down his throat. If only to stop him from EATING the pressure bandage on his foot.
Mmmm tasty.
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22 Responses to “……and my accident for today will be….”
January 31st, 2008 at 7:18 pm
Why send him to school? The face full of chocolate answer is the correct one. ‘Cos if you kept him home you’d have to share……..
January 31st, 2008 at 7:46 pm
It took you three hours to eat that measly little bit of chocky? Girl, you are losing your touch.
Chili chocolate? By Lindt? WHERE DID THAT COME FROM? I NEED TO KNOW. NOW.
January 31st, 2008 at 7:52 pm
i would have shipped him off too. a full nights rest and at home…you would have ate the whole box in 3 hours!!
January 31st, 2008 at 7:58 pm
Mmmmm, chocolate.
I would of sent him to school too. And? He slept through the night? WOO HOO!
January 31st, 2008 at 8:08 pm
Ohhh I’ve seen that chilli chocolate -what’s it like?
Pfft you don’t need to justify why you sent him to school- kids listen to their teachers if they’re told to sit still whereas it’s “but muuuum my foot is fine if I dangle from the roof like this by my big toe coz I’m booooored”
Painstop? Liquid gold!
January 31st, 2008 at 8:24 pm
Yay for sleep.. cheers kim..
January 31st, 2008 at 8:29 pm
Yes i would have sent him to school to.
Any chilli chocolate left?
Sorry silly question!
January 31st, 2008 at 9:01 pm
River: Nah. I don’t share. Get it stolen, yes. But don’t share. And Boo can’t have dairy anyway. Wait! Lindt is dairy free! SHIT!
Tracey: I got it at Coles. Safeway has it too. I haven’t tried it yet
FXSMom: Stupidly, I was so busy ridding the house of the filth that is 6 weeks of school holidays that I barely had time to savour chocolate!
Veronica: I KNOW!!! How freaking awesome is that!?
Jayne: I haven’t tried it yet. When I do I will Twitter IMMEDIATELY!!! *snort*
And Painstop. I pink puffy heart it.
Kim: Yay!!
Casdok: *snort* wish I tried it first now!
January 31st, 2008 at 9:53 pm
I could quite happily eat all of that chocolate in one sitting. What’s in the cup?
January 31st, 2008 at 10:48 pm
I would cheerfully sell my own sister for that chili chocolate - LOVE that stuff.
So are you doping him up again tonight? Mama needs her rest… ;-). Oh, and so does that foot.
January 31st, 2008 at 11:14 pm
Ohhh Painstop. I thought thats what it was. I PINK PUFFY HEART painstop (sorry to sout but it really is amazing stuff). Both my kids had that for ear infections. Turned them into walking zombies. Great stuff. Hope you get to sleep again tonight.
And as for the chocolate, the Connoisuer is beeeuuuttiful but I will happily leave the chilli for you. I hate chilli.
January 31st, 2008 at 11:39 pm
Nobody knows da boy like da mama!!
Your birth = your child
Your child = your decision
Your decision = happy mummy
Happy mummy = happy home
Everyone wins
February 1st, 2008 at 1:31 am
But did YOU sleep through the night?
Love ya babe. Glad you got your choco.
February 1st, 2008 at 3:54 am
You had sleep AND chocolate! Sounds like a fantastic day… and remember you’ve always some painkillers in hand! Mwah ha ha haaaargh!
Cheers
BC
February 1st, 2008 at 4:05 am
So glad he slept through the night. I used to tell Annie - “You know, we COULD slip some beer in his bottle …” but she wouldn’t let me. Something about child abuse or something like that … So, I just learned to sleep through anything. Well, almost anything. She would actually ICE DOWN HER HANDS and then GRAB ME somewhere the sun don’t shine just because she wanted ME to go feed the kid his bottle. I mean REALLY! What’s up with that?
February 1st, 2008 at 5:00 am
Sleep is for the weak!
Chilli chocolate…now that is worth some pain, isn’t it?
February 1st, 2008 at 6:50 am
Glad he slept! That’s a win!! I would have sent him to school too.
February 1st, 2008 at 8:24 am
Oh my goodness, you deserve tons more chocolate than that, my dear! Like a truckload! And maybe you could give your son those painkillers and save a few for yourself, so you can both get some sleep? ;^) It is nice to read that your son is well regarded at school — that’s a great thing!
February 1st, 2008 at 9:06 am
Solomon: The beauty of dark choc is that it is so rich you don’t need as much. Well that is the case with me anyway. In the cup? COFFEE of course!!!!!!!
Robin: Doped up. Check. Slept through the night again. Check. Eaten the chilli chocolate. Damn! I knew I forgot something….
Gemisht: It should be renamed Mummy Sanity Saver. And chilli? I adore it.
Anita: Thanks babe.
Ree: smootches back atcha. Yeah! I slept ALL NIGHT! Feel like doing a freaking happy dance!
Babychaos: Pity it took Boo breaking his foot to get a good nights sleep. Who would have thunk it?
Iceel: Go give that woman a huge kiss from me. I think she is awesome….. wish I thought of that.
VE: Well then I must be a freaking Gladiator then.
Jenty: Thanks. I felt bad though.
Beth: Well do the vibe thing so I can win Lotto and I will order the truck.
Boo is like a freaking rock star at school! The kids adore him cause he is hilarious and an amazing artist. I should post some of his pictures.
February 1st, 2008 at 12:45 pm
Look at that stash of chocolate!!!!!
My stars!!! That is a serious orgy of yummyness.
My mouth just got horny.
February 1st, 2008 at 3:14 pm
where’s mine?
So glad you are getting some sleep even if HBL is now psychicly predicting his accidents and hurts
February 23rd, 2008 at 1:02 pm
[…] posted a wondrously delicious blog entry about chocolate. Now I have discovered the joys of Lindt Chilli Chocolate. Damn, a mouth orgasm and a half. It’s like sex and candy all rolled into one tempting […]
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