At school 2 hours and a trip to the hospital.
Minutes after the last post I got a call.
Boo can no longer walk.
Boo is complaining of pain. Constantly.
The kid that had 4 exposed nerves in his teeth that we only knew about when he went for a filling.
The kid that snaps off his own teeth. Or levers them out with anything vaguely sharp.
The kid that the only sign of an ear infection is a good mood, A+ attention and compliance. And shit pouring outta his ears.
THAT kid is complaining of pain.
So off to the hospital we go.
Just after 2pm. God dammit!!
Literally carry my hulking baby from the car park to the Emergency waiting room. Deposit him in a chair and go to sit at triage.
Get yelled at by the receptionist chick for sitting him in the wrong chair.
Try to explain that I am aware that we are supposed to sit here and then, there, when our presence is acknowledged, but seeing Boo has Autism and I have brought a fucking kid with AUTISM to the emergency room, it would be best if we settled him in the position he is going to spend the most time.
And perhaps the nurse wouldn’t mind walking those 5 fucking extra steps to see him.
She puffed her cheeks at me. Don’t know if that was a mating dance or acceptance or what. I took it as ‘alright’.
So I waited for the nurse to acknowledge me.
Another dance of me staring directly at her while she tried to ignore me. She was busy talking to her friend about some other nurse. I wish I was listening cause it sounded hil-ar-ious, but I was more worried about the now sleepy kid with Autism that doesn’t feel pain waiting to be seen.
Finally she acknowledged me.
‘What can I do for you’
‘Hi. My son fell over at school and hurt his foot. He is severely Autistic (*cringe*) and doesn’t normally feel pain. So I am worried.’
‘So how do you know he hurt his foot’
‘Because he is constantly complaining that it hurts. The school called me to bring him here’
‘I thought you said he doesn’t feel pain?’
‘Not normally. I have never known him to complain of pain. So this has me worried’
‘So you say he is in pain’
‘Yes’
‘But I thought you said that he doesn’t feel pain’
Fuck Me Dead.
‘OK biatch I will say this re-a-ll-y s-l-o-w-l-y’
‘He doesn’t normally complain of pain. Ever. We only know he has an ear infection when his ear starts leaking. A couple of weeks ago an iron bar fell on him and he was bruised all over but just yelped and that was it. So he doesn’t complain of pain. Except for today. Which. Is. Why. I. Am. So. Fucking. Freaked. Out. Worried.
‘So he is in pain’
Sigh. ‘Yes’
‘Where?’
‘His foot. I don’t know where exactly but I assume that it is where he insisted that the bandaid be put. He also fell flat on his face and had a red mark across his chest. And he is unusually subdued. Normally he would be running around screaming the place down’
‘Well he has a sore foot doesn’t he?’
Fucking. Sigh. ‘Yes. But as he doesn’t normally feel pain that wouldn’t stop him. So I am worried that he may have hit his head AND broken his foot.’
‘Is he complaining about his head?’
Oh. Give. Me. Fucking. STRENGTH!!!! ‘No. But that is not unusual. He never complains about pain.’
‘But he is complaining about his foot’
What is wrong with this woman? Does she have a brain injury? Low blood sugar? Should I ram a butterscotch down her smarmy throat?
‘Yes. He has a sore foot.’
‘OK. I will take a look at him and organise an Xray’
‘Fabulous, oh and I should warn you, he doesn’t like to be touched’
The look on her face was priceless.
Boo was staring at the ceiling. No jiggling. No tapping. No yelping. No noise. Fuck.
He let the nurse look at his foot. He wiggled his foot when asked. He even answered questions. Rock Star I tellz ya.
She sent us around to Xray. With a wheelchair, under sufferance. Biatch.
He was a Rock Star yet again at Xray. I had tears in my eyes he was so fabulous.
Back around to Emergency for a 3 hour wait. Oh, I was told it would only be a few minutes….
I kept him entertained with my new phone. Phone has paid for itself in sanity points. He took a photo of his poor widdle swollen foot.
Notice the bandaid? Bandaids are magic. They fix everything.
My little champion did so well. Even though he was parked next to the snack machine.
Even when he needed to go to the toilet and when I wheeled him in there I accidentally rammed hit the wall. With his foot.
Even when there was no blanket to wrap around him while he sat. Or wipe his arse with.
Even when the whole waiting room was staring at him and some ferals openly laughed when he was flapping his arms and grimacing.
My patented death stare was put to good use. Those haemorrhoid’s are going to be painful. Asshats.
Then we met Dr Win.
And he was awesome. And Boo loved him. And I wanted to have his babies.
He thinks Boo has broken a bone in his foot. There is a piece of bone floating around in there. But he said there was nothing they could do anyway so no point putting Boo through any more trauma to find out for sure.
And he listened to Boo when he tried to strike up conversation.
And he gave Boo a bandaid. And a stretchy bandage. And a wrap around one. Cause Boo wanted them all.
And he gave me a bottle of liquid Painkillers.
And he explained everything clearly. And not like I was a dumb fuck.
I pink puffy heart him.
So we walked out with a diagnosis of a probable broken bone in his foot. Some awesome Xray’s for Boo to take to school. A shit load of bandages to ensure that Boo keeps it strapped. A bottle of painkillers. And a smile.
For free. God bless Australia!
And now, 3 hours after getting home, Boo is whacked out on painkillers. Feelin’ no pain baby. Laying UNDER his mattress and singing softly to himself.
With his bandaged broken foot poking out the top.
Although I am lamenting the demise of my get-shit-faced-on-wine night I planned, I am glad for small mercies.
I am thankful that he wasn’t badly hurt. I am thankful for the kind and caring staff at his school. I am thankful that he coped so amazingly well.
And I am thankful for Dr Win. You, sir, are a super star.
Those of you so inclined can you send some healing vibes to my baby boy. Some thankyou vibes to the awesome Dr Win. And putrid pus oozing hairy hanging-down-their-leg haemorrhoid vibes to the fuckers that got enjoyment at laughing at my boys pain and confusion.
Oh and I wouldn’t mind a couple of million in lotto while you are at it. Just as compensation for you know, 9 years of no sleep…. I am gunna need it for the botox.
Ta.
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43 Responses to “At school 2 hours and a trip to the hospital.”
January 30th, 2008 at 11:17 pm
Healing vibes for Boo - and thank you vibes to Dr Win!
When things go right the public health system is awesome.
January 30th, 2008 at 11:19 pm
hugs to you and Boo.
and boo for being such a brave boy.
January 30th, 2008 at 11:22 pm
Poor you and poor Boo, hospitals with our kids can be so traumatic.
Glad the Dr was good in the end.
Healing vibes on their way!
January 30th, 2008 at 11:36 pm
The triage nurse is the usual sort of fucktard they put there. Usually plug ugly and has the disposition of a two bit whore with genital herpes.
A fantastic doctor? Damn, I didn’t know they existed. They’re non-existent in Sydney.
As for the ferals… I shall think dark and ugly thoughts of non-curable syphillis on all of them.
As for you, dear one… hugs, hugs and more hugs. I hope Boo does a fantabulous power point presentation of his injury. Poor little lamb.
January 30th, 2008 at 11:39 pm
OMG, hospital waiting rooms are the worst! That damned triage nurse should be hung and quartered!
Thankfully, you got a kind, understanding and caring doctor out of the deal. There IS a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow! Sometimes you just have to dig through the putrescence to find it!
Cheers and lots of positives
Kerri
January 30th, 2008 at 11:40 pm
Poor kid, what a star he was through it all.
Sending out “I hope he gets laid tonight” vibes for Dr. Win and extra-strength “gosh those hemmorhoids must be quite painful” vibes to those awful ferals.
Oh. And a big bottle of wine to Mom.
SWAK.
January 31st, 2008 at 12:34 am
Wow - kind of makes my trip to Big W pale into insignificance….
Hugs and healing wishes…does this means Boo gets to stay home tomorrow?
January 31st, 2008 at 1:13 am
I am so glad I’m not one the people who laughed at your kid. Ordinary haemorrhoids are bad enough.
January 31st, 2008 at 1:58 am
They should have hemorrhoid surgery after they get their bad case of hemorrhoids — smirk, smirk. I’ve had it - 20 years ago. Women I know who’ve had it looked at me with sympathy … because … it’s like giving birth 3 times a day. And then — hope their doctor gives them Tylenol with codeine for the pain .. because the codeine makes you constipated after about the third of fourth dose. Then — THEN you give birth to the REALLY BIG babies. mwah-ha-ha
January 31st, 2008 at 2:10 am
Sending all sorts of pus filled vibes to those ferals and I’ll personally package up and post the gastro bug from our house to that triage nurse.
Glad the doc was a winner. Hope you got to that wine in the end and that Boo is still pain free
January 31st, 2008 at 2:17 am
Oh, holy cow! How awful! I’m sorry - I hope Boo’s foot is all-better soon.
January 31st, 2008 at 3:28 am
I missed yesterday so I read the two together today. I have to say two things. One the way you write is brilliant and such that I am laughing my f@@king head off. Two, but the events you are writing about must have been grim at best and I therefore feel that I might be a bad lady to be laughing.
Oh yeh and three… Dr Win I pink puffy heart you, nurse I hope you catch scabeous boils which fester and ooze and won’t go away (ever) and stain your clothes with yellow pus and Boo’s school I love you too.
I have aksed the chaos fairies - who attend my every waking moment as you know - whether they can somehow arrange for you to win the lotto… even if you forget to buy a ticket.
Cheers
BC
January 31st, 2008 at 3:31 am
You my friend, are amazing. Somedays I just want to buy you a coffee plant. Today is one of those days.
January 31st, 2008 at 3:31 am
Holy Crap. When Murphy gets you, he doesn’t let go! What a first day back to school, you think there’s something they didn’t tell you? ANd what a crappy ER experience to start with…though I’ve never had a good one.
Thoughts for a quick recovery for Boo!!
January 31st, 2008 at 3:33 am
Big ol’ healing vibes for Boo. Poor guy.
Love to awesome Dr. Win.
A pox on the jackasses in the waiting room. (A really painful pox.)
And the nurse? Maybe we should send her in to see Dr. Win because she has clearly hit her head on something. Hard.
January 31st, 2008 at 5:27 am
Idiot nurse. Sainted doctor. Poor, sweet son. Loving, adorable mommy. I hope your precious boy is feeling much better with all his bandages and painkillers. And big hugs to you!
January 31st, 2008 at 6:13 am
Poor Boo. I hope his foot heals quickly!
January 31st, 2008 at 7:29 am
That nurse! She really wasn’t getting it.
TG for an awesome doctor and I hope Boo heals fast.
January 31st, 2008 at 7:59 am
Poor Boo. Dr Win deserves to get much good fortune.
I hope you got some sleep last night and some chocolates.
January 31st, 2008 at 8:27 am
Yes, God Bless Australia!
I have found that once I got past the dickwicks in the waiting room the doctors were great.
Big good fortune vibes to the wonderful Dr Win.
Massive healing vibes to Mr Boo.
and
all the positive vibes I can send your way my lovely. I have a concept of how you were feeling. (something in my eye when you said Boo was staring at the ceiling without wiggling etc)
A xxx
oh and a great big pox on the ferals and the receptionist and the triage nurse (yes, I know you are busy and under-appreciated blah blah blah but this kid needs your care :-|)
January 31st, 2008 at 8:49 am
Awwww hugs,wine and choccys to you hun.
Gentle healing vibes to your precious boy.
and appropraite vibes to the rest of the fuckers
January 31st, 2008 at 8:51 am
so glad you got to see someone with some common sense eventually. Hope his foot heals quickly.
hugs
January 31st, 2008 at 12:11 pm
Cellobella: It is awesome isn’t. No matter how much we bitch and moan about it, when it comes to the crunch we are very lucky.
Nicole: Thanks for the hugs. You don’t mind if I just give Boo a high five from you do you? He is a little over the hugs right now
Casdok: I know you know where I am coming from. Thanks for the vibes babe.
Anja: You crack me up. I think the doc was good cause he has not been indoctrinated yet. He has not been in the country long. None of our docs have. That is what happens in country towns. I expect the powere point presentation will be this afternoon
Kerri: Thanks babe. Thankfully there was only about 10 other people in the waiting room at the end, so I didn’t get a headache from death stares at too many people.
Robin: Gaffaw at the ‘gosh those hemmorhoids must be quite painful”. He is still being a super star.
Meg: oooh better get over to your place and find out what happened. I love reveling in others misery! And no, he is at school. Will update this post with the reasons, and not that I am just a selfish biatch of a mother either!
Solomon: I am glad you didn’t too. I had them while I was pregnant ( surgery bad) so I know the pain!
Iceel: I hear you. Try being pregnant and having it with only a local! I thought I was going to die.
Guera: Sweet. Gastro and haemorroids! A lethal combo!
MadMad: thanks babe.
Babychaos: *snort* I posted twice in one day, so you didn’t miss a day. You are not a bad person, that is how I cope with things, make a joke out of it. So if you laugh that makes it all the better! Smootch.
Girl: Nah, just buy a plane ticket and come over to visit! I will take you out for coffee.
Ange: The thing that kills me is he didn’t want to go. I swear that kid is fucking psychic!
Stimey: Thanks babe. I wouldn’t wish that nurse on my lovely Dr Win!
Beth: Thankyou babe.
Jenty: Thanks, me too!
Veronica: I am leaning towards brain injury from too tight bun. No way low blood sugar could cause that sorta stupidity!
Marita: He slept through the night! BooYah! and I just bought a shit load of chocolate…
Angel: Smootches babe. I thought you might get that reference. Scared the shit outta me.
Joyce: Bwaaaaaa haa haaaaaaaa! You said fuckers!
Bettina: Thanks babe.
January 31st, 2008 at 12:11 pm
Healing vibes for Boo.
Copious amounts of wine for you.
And may those who laughed at your son have their scrotums ripped off by a blunt nail sticking out on the piece of 4×2 I’m sending you.
Peace and love babe.
January 31st, 2008 at 12:12 pm
widdle shamrock: Bwaaaaaa haaaaa haaaaaa! Oh yes. I am so using that. And thanks!
January 31st, 2008 at 12:19 pm
Poor Boo!! I will be sending healing thoughts his way. Big cheers for the awesome dr.–but you also deserve credit for having built such trust with Boo that he can handle situations like this. So yay for you too
January 31st, 2008 at 12:43 pm
Healing vibes to Boo
Kudos to Dr Win, is he a paed? Send him my way, will ya?
Hope you get your wine…
January 31st, 2008 at 1:29 pm
OMG, my mouth is dry from the worry… you did sooo well and sorry you found a moronic nurse. Do you think she was, what do y’all say, “taking the mickey”?
I send psychic bandaids across the ocean to Boo! And bottles of local wine to you!
January 31st, 2008 at 1:48 pm
Poor Boo - it must have been bad and how did you feel at 2pm - a real ‘heel’. Cyber chocolate on it’s way.
Healing vibes for Boo,thank you vibes to fab Dr Win and a nudge for the Nurse (we all are not that bad)to do better next time!
Sometimes the public health system is awesome but slow.
Karma to those who laughed - B@stards
January 31st, 2008 at 1:48 pm
Hope the stupid dicks and nurse are afflicted with a plague of hairy arsed nits!
Mine did that after breaking his elbow(yes the funny bone LOL).
Stuff the botox - hang by your ankles from the chandelier for a few hours…everything falls back into place
January 31st, 2008 at 2:25 pm
Just found your site via dooDaddy. I’m sorry about your son’s foot… but I had to laugh at your account of the conversation with the triage nurse. I’ve met a few of those in my time.
I’m off to read your archives… and some more of the hilarious comments you inspire. You know it’s an Australian blog when you read comments like “plug ugly and has the disposition of a two bit whore with genital herpes.”
Cheers
Trish
January 31st, 2008 at 2:40 pm
Liz: Yay for the Yay for me! Yeah. I have eaten a LOT of chocolate today….
Tiff: Sorry babe. just a regular ER doc. I thought your Paed was a God now? Must need to catch up on your blog.
DooDaddy: Smootches to you babe. Nah, I think the nurse was just a class A biatch.
Babyamore: Yeah, it was just that nurse. And the receptionist. The other nurses seemed fine. And I have friends that are nurses. So I know the profession is mainly good, with a few that need some kid with gastro to vomit in their hair…
Jayne: If I hang from the ceiling Boo will think I am a pinata…… and sweets DO NOT fall out my arse.
Trish: *snort* I have some seriously funny people reading my blog don’t I? The comments crack me up. Have fun reading. You will find that I am in a bad mood, oh, 98% of the time…
January 31st, 2008 at 6:02 pm
Poor little guy! I hope his poor foot heals quickly!
And even though the health care system in Australia sounds better than the one here, it’s nice to know there are fucking idiot triage nurses the world ’round!
January 31st, 2008 at 7:36 pm
Oooh! I hate those people who can’t get past the first question and just keep repeating variations of it. I want to ram their heads against the nearest wall.
January 31st, 2008 at 7:55 pm
Oh. My. God.
HOW did you not punch that fuckhead’s fuckhead in?
Praise the Lord for the good doctor.
Blessings upon poor little Boo and his long-suffering mother.
You know the bottles of wine you were contemplating? Go for the cask, sweetie. Go for the cask.
January 31st, 2008 at 8:19 pm
that stupid arsed horrible nurse is so going to get a boil on her arse.. I just know.. and as for the haemmorroids consider it done..
glad that you survived the day..
cheers kim *smootches*
January 31st, 2008 at 8:30 pm
Gina: Yes, it seems that way. Perhaps they chuck the bad nurses there so you only have to deal with them for a few minutes?
River: I hear ya! I wanted to stab her in the head with a fork. Alas, no fork. And a security screen.
Tracey: I am a dignified lay-dee. I prefer to make an effigy of the object of my hatred and use it to clean Boo’s shit off the walls……
Kim: Oooh! Boils are good. On asshats.
January 31st, 2008 at 11:26 pm
Voodoo dolls are made - just looking for the pins
February 1st, 2008 at 10:43 am
hehehehe *passes pins to boneblower* we will fix that bitch… Muawhaha
Kelley have you gone over and entered my give away yett???
cheers kim.. and you too BB.. and anyone else.. Save me a lot of postage if someone in aussie wins heheheheh
February 1st, 2008 at 11:31 pm
A huge gold star to Dr Win, whilst the nurse get sent to the back of the class for being such a dumbfuck.
I really hope Boo is feeling better soon and that he doesn’t do any more damage to himself.
October 4th, 2008 at 8:58 pm
Thanks for the insight into the kid that feels *no* pain as opposed to the kid that feels pain even when *no pain* exists.
xx
October 4th, 2008 at 8:58 pm
So glad the doc you saw wasn’t an idiot! Hope Boo is starting to feel better soon, and you manage to get a decent sleep too. ((hugs))
October 4th, 2008 at 11:51 pm
Think you should have given that nurse a butterscoth up her arse. Except she probably already had something up there.
Brilliant post as usual. Yadda yadda awesome etc.
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