Isn’t it wonderful………
watching a child fall asleep?
I am sitting on the lounge, surrounded by toys and the contents of a chest of drawers, a tower of CD’s precariously perched on the side of the TV cabinet. The laptop in front of me, my legs swung over the side, some crap on the TV, the disco ball spinning and throwing its coloured lights all over the shit and mustard stained walls.
I look over the top of my laptop and see Boo. Laying across his bed his eyes darting and closing, darting and closing, his leg hanging over the side.
He is nearly there. Nearly there.
I stop typing lest the sound disturb him.
He looks over at me.
I start typing again.
His eyes follow the patterns on the ceiling, down the walls. Yellow, blue, green, soft muted red. I remember teaching him these colours. I remember when he first showed me ‘green’, I remember his confusion and meltdown over the word ‘orange’. A food and a colour. Bastards.
His eyes close. 10pm? Really?
He fights it. His eyes fly open, close, open.
He shakes his head. But he can’t fight it. It is engulfing him. His eyes flutter. They roll. He flings his arm above his head. His jaw goes slack. They flutter again.
He sighs. That sigh of contentment. Of exhaustion. Of comfort.
He sits up suddenly. My heart in my mouth.
He rolls over. Leg now on the bed. Body and head wrapped in the blanket. Just like when I swaddled him as a baby.
It is my turn to sigh.
That beautiful, innocent face.
I wait. Wait till the rhythm of his breathing is constant.
I resist. Resist kissing that adorable face until I know he is asleep.
He is asleep. I kiss him and go to bed.
Stealing one more glance of that angelic face as I walk out the door.
***********
updated to add:
He got up an hour later and went to sleep at 4am. Tried to recapture the warm fuzzy feeling from earlier to no avail….
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18 Responses to “Isn’t it wonderful………”
December 19th, 2007 at 9:06 pm
There isn’t much better in the world than watching your kids sleep. No matter what they have done in the last day/week/month/year, they are somehow instantly forgiven when you look at them asleep. And there is something about watching them that you could try to explain to someone without kids, but it would lack something, regardless of the words that you use.
And for you, to watch Boo fall asleep and kiss him goodnight, that would be a thousand times sweeter than anything the rest of us have experienced. Sleep tight too.
December 19th, 2007 at 9:22 pm
that sounds absolutely awesome
December 19th, 2007 at 10:00 pm
I don’t think watching them fall asleep will ever grow old, no matter how big they get.
December 19th, 2007 at 10:47 pm
How wonderful.
I’m jealous. I’m sick and feeling like utter crap, so last night I gave up and left M on her own when she was quiet and seemingly content and went to fall asleep on the couch myself. At midnight she was still wide awake, with every single one of her 732 books strewn on the floor around her bed. I literally had to shovel a path to get through to take her to the toilet. Sigh…
December 19th, 2007 at 11:03 pm
How perfectly wonderful! I love watching my kids sleep it’s as if they can do no wrong in those moments and you forget anything and everything that has driven you up the wall that day.
I always seem to stay one moment too long and wake them up…then I leave it to my husband and he can put them back to sleep!
December 19th, 2007 at 11:06 pm
they smell nicer when they are asleep…. mmmmm I think they smell like love.
xxx
December 19th, 2007 at 11:51 pm
No matter how old, kids always look so lovable when they are sleeping. Even my 14 yr old. I do miss the toddler stage front that perspective though.
December 20th, 2007 at 1:46 am
This is such a sweet post. I love this kind of thing too.
December 20th, 2007 at 3:26 am
My heart just melted. Thanks for sharing this.
December 20th, 2007 at 3:59 am
You my dear, make me melt a little….
December 20th, 2007 at 5:51 am
Beautiful. You describe it so well. That peace you feel in your heart, that moment you tell yourself you’ll remember forever and squeeze your eyes tight to try and imprint it permananetly in your mind’s eye.
December 20th, 2007 at 7:22 am
That’s it! You’ve managed to describe it exactly. And beautifully of course.
I realize, though, that that’s what Shortman sees when he watches me at night. He always outlasts me.
December 20th, 2007 at 7:25 am
This is such a beautiful image. I always lie down with my son at bedtime and have to resist the urge to gather him up and hug and kiss him after he’s fallen asleep, lest I wake him up.
December 20th, 2007 at 9:36 am
Desertqueen: So true. So true…. but then look at the update. Sigh.
Beebeejaybee: Even at 9 he has a baby face.
Veronica: It is true. I even walk into Moo and Too’s rooms and see them sleeping and I am transported back to when they were babies.
Robin: That sucks. But an hour later I joined you.
Stella: LOL. It’s hard to gauge sometimes isn’t it. Will try your trick with my husband!
Kim: That is beautiful. ’smell like love’ yeah. You’re right.
mystarbucks: Just knee cap ‘em, then they are short AND toddling!
Stimey: Gotta catch those moments.
FXSmom:
Didn’t feel that way an hour later though!
phatsheep: As do you to me when you post about your little angels.
Ange: That is why blogging is so wonderful. You can capture that moment in time and then have it forever.
Ree:
so do my three!
Beth: Boo and I have ’sleepovers’ in the loungeroom, then I get my squeezy cuddles!
December 20th, 2007 at 1:44 pm
Aww… This made me teary. Even if things did change within the hour!
December 20th, 2007 at 2:03 pm
Beautifully written and I too love that time.
Shame he woke an hour later.
December 26th, 2007 at 11:41 am
Murphy’s Law - reminded why we love them, reminded why we could kill them! Constant merrygoround to keep us guessing and never feel normal again! Motherhood sucks but geez I love it. Must be someone’s idea of a sick joke.
You are very poetic and have a real talent for putting how we feel into words. Love ya
January 5th, 2008 at 4:58 am
Brings back memories long forgotton!
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